Belonging

Magical Maladies -Severus Snape-

Severus Snape

Saturday Morning

When Severus woke up he found himself on his right side, holding Miss Watson around the waist, his wrist touching her exposed flesh between her pajama trouser waist and her shirt hem. A morning erection made him pull quickly away from her. The same problem had cropped up last night as she laid to rest on him.

He still adamantly felt like she was his student and nothing more, but in the dark, her body was warm and womanly against his... his body had started yearning. He had tamped it down last night, praying that Watson would hold still and not accidentally brush against it in her sleep. This morning he safely rolled away from her to get some room to clear his head. Too many years since he had felt intimate touches and snuggles like this. He supposed it was a normal reaction but the guilt that washed over him was more powerful than the words he tried to assure himself with.

After Lily he had gone through several phases as far as partnership went. The first phase was trying to find another meaningful partner like Lily had been to him, and he had been constantly severely disappointed when intimacy just made his heart scream out for Lily still. He could not bring himself to feel for anyone what he had felt for her, and thus his sex life had faltered because nothing felt correct, emotionally connected enough, it was unfulfilling.

The next phase was one he regretted more. He had decided if he would feel nothing, then the sex should be for the sake of pleasure and lust only. Thus leading to a series of short term sexual encounters that were not emotional at all. They ticked a box. In a detached way he had learned how to be a good lover, what women liked. He was observant and dedicated and therefore had found which ways in which he could be useful to them. A good way to have a roster of people who might send you an owl when they have an urge.

Those connections had all fallen by the wayside. His job at Hogwarts was night and day and he seldom had the energy to pick up a quill to respond to the missives, let alone travel to them. Other than a couple summertime visits over the years, he really didn't pursue women lately. Thus the warmth of Watson as she buried her face into his chest had made an instinctual response in his body. He had made sure she didn't come in contact with it. He was grateful Watson was so committed to their symptom relief as to curl up on him like that. He didn't remember them rolling over into spooning though.

He left the bedroom to visit the loo, waiting for the morning visitor to calm down. He splashed cold water on his face. It didn't work, so he got in the shower instead. At last he was free of it and dressed, then returned to the bed to find Watson just as he had left her. He sat back on the bed on top of the covers. He checked the time, it was early yet, and she had been fairly exhausted. He decided to stay close in case they needed to do more physical contact, he didn't want her woken by hiccups, so he moved to the middle of the bed where his hip would be touching her back, and read while she slept.

A couple of hours later he was surprised she had not yet stirred. He laid a hand on her back. No response, a gentle rubbing to hopefully gently wake her, no movement. It was somewhat odd. He had had such fitful rest, the best in days, and yet she was unmoving. It tweaked something in him, a worry so he tried "Watson... do you want to get some breakfast?" Nothing.

"Madelyn?" He asked softly. When this too went unanswered he rose and got out of bed, walked around to her side to find her eyes partly open, distant, tears streaming from the corners. "Madelyn?!" He asked with more urgency but she was looking through him. Was this another trance? If it was, how long had she been this way while he read his novel with his elbow propped up on her body stuck in limbo?

He rushed to the fireplace and used floo powder to try for Poppy in the places he might catch her on a Saturday morning. He got Minerva who promised to fetch her and be right down. He knelt beside the bed and took Madelyn's hands and tried talking to her but she was unresponsive. At last Poppy and Minerva came rushing in and Poppy dropped down beside him to have a look.