Belonging

Bad Memories, Good Hair Day -Severus Snape-

Wednesday Morning

The night yielded sufficient sleep but he was awoken by the pricking of his ears. An unbidden notion that it would be convenient to force Watson to sleep here popped into his sleepy thoughts. He had briefly imagined having her close by to touch her hand while she slept, but the image quickly shifted on him and suddenly she was Lily and he was Potter. He was forced to open his eyes when his dreamy mind showed his but not his hands sliding inside the slumbering girl's shirt, groping her and pretending he had been asleep the whole time, like James had done to his girlfriend when they spent the night together for the first time.

Waking up to distasteful memories made him start the day with a clenched jaw. He rubbed his eyes and hoped he would rub away the memory. He could only hope he would never force Watson into touching him like Potter had to Lily. It had absolutely destroyed his heart when she forgave him for absolutely everything the moment they were mated. One minute she had been crying on Severus's shoulder over an invasion, an assault, one that he had gotten five detentions for his retaliation for, and the next she was telling Severus that she understood why he had done it; he was really just being mischievous . She liked his mischief now. He tried to shake off the memory. A few words later she would tell him to back off and leave her alone, stop accusing James blah blah blah.

Severus dragged himself into the shower like he hoped the water would wash away the painful old memories. The more he woke up the more his ears made their painful presence known. His belly began the grumbling he had been blissfully relieved of by the hours spent sitting with Watson last night. He had washed his hair while repeating that he was not going to be a brute with Miss Watson. He would never grab at her breasts under the guise of pretending to sleep. He didn't want to. Why was he worrying he would do something he held no desire for in his heart?

When he was through, he tucked a towel around his waist and brushed out his tangled hair. He wondered if Watson was awake and if he should send her a note to come meet. He returned to his bedroom to dress for the day when he nearly jumped out of his skin at Watson in his bedroom doorway.

"Sorry!" The girl stammered with wide eyes and spun away from his nearly nude body. Thank Merlin he had the towel on. He had forgotten he had given her the password. "I knocked but... I just came to... I'm sorry!"

"Go sit in the living room, I will be with you shortly." He gritted. He was not in any way comfortable with Miss Watson having seen his bare torso. His scars from a long ago prank by his worst bullies were never on display, ever . If he had had his way, she would not have seen them until she was his mate, even then, he had no wish to tell the tale. Something about eyes on his skin, on the middle part of his body, just twisted a screw inside him. The injustice of everything that had happened that day and during his recovery was living there on his skin and it hurt fresh every time someone saw them.

He dressed with haste and he tried, but was unable to hide his growing unhappiness when he opened the door to the living room again. "How may I be of assistance?" He was deep inside himself, throwing cold greetings when he had not wanted to be like this with her. He tried to force a measured long breath.

"I'm sorry. I thought we might be able to do the circle thing before breakfast. I should have waited for you to answer." She looked very sorry. He tried not to scowl so hard.

"I will close the bedroom door when showering for the remaining time we have as future mates. Then you will be free to enter and wait for me here, safely.' He was tight lipped and no wonder she bristled when he swept over to her too hastily. He was trying to be accommodating but he knew he was far from welcoming. "May I?" He raised his hands to either side of her face.