Through soulless stares you'll find the most silent criticism. What's worse is that you'll never know what's being said, those eyes etched into your psyche like teeth into raw flesh.
I wish I could perceive the world as I once did; I recall fondly the days when I would mosey around rooms of the most elite, how I miss the respect and care their memorable voices held for me. To them, I was never such a creature their modern perceptions illustrate me as. Part of me, a suppressed cesspool of toxicity and hurt, wishes I could be that abusive entity your portrayals of me hold. However, I know that I'll never stoop to such a dark place, no matter how often you frequent that portrayal.
Can't we just live how we did those years ago? Must you see me for what my surface describes, or can we transport ourselves to a time that betters us all?
A place of soft, golden lights, eloquent music and endless laughter?
How I miss those days of companionship, care and celebration.
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As Seek dragged a hefty box into the broad doorway of the elevator, (Y/n) remained lost at the idea of an entity being motivated to participate in the festivities. Why would they care about Christmas?
Nevertheless, Seek remained festive, his cold demeanour melting slowly with each string of fairy lights that (Y/n) had set up.
Their work was fast, their attention on nothing else but the decorations. Soon, the ballroom was generously doused in the Christmassy apparel, a tree in each corner, a light in each nook and cranny, and mistletoe above each doorway.
Pleased by the result, (Y/n) ceased for a moment, taking a breather as she sat down on one of the many beaten, ancient tables, the mahogany surface scuffed by now missing silverware. Yet, even in her exhaustion, she accepted the task of breathing life back into the derelict seating with an elegant, silk tablecloth. Boughs of holly embroidered the golden fabric, each illustration perfectly sewn thread by thread in a symmetrical pattern.
Engrossed in the task, she failed to realise Seek had grown enraptured by another box labelled 'Frames', his hands having melted slightly. His quivering fingers held the box in a loose grip, his commendable strength diminished as a wave of nostalgia overcame him so suddenly.
"...Is everything okay down there?" (Y/n) murmured, her voice low and laced with a healthy amount of concern.
However, (Y/n)'s acknowledgement changed nothing in his mind, no cocky, icy retort was flung her way as he remained silently fixated on the marked box.
As his inked fingers took in the smooth, aged texture of the dusty box, his gaze remained above it, his body fixed in one spot.
"Seek?" (Y/n) piped up once again, her face painted with more prominent concern,"...Seek, is everything ok?"
Snapping out of his trance at the sound of his own name, he shook his head in a haste,"Fine, fine. I'm just blinded by your work, it burns my retina."
Groaning, (Y/n) scoffed and shook her head,"You dragged me here to do this, you dork, so I'm not sure what you were expecting."
At that, he pushed the box aside, with notable caution, and stomped over to her in something akin to a rage,"I am no dork for wanting Christmas lights. By no means am I a child for wanting this!"
"...I never said it was childish. Where did you get that idea from?" (Y/n) mused, her brow furrowed,"Did somebody else tell you that?"
"No." He aggressively scowled in response,"I just implied it. You probably thought it before I said it."
Blankly, (Y/n) stared at Seek as he started to shift uncomfortably, knowing she had uncovered an insecurity of his.
"Do you think you can't enjoy the holiday because you're too old?"
Begrudgingly, he nodded, earning pity from her. Though her look channeled that warm sensation, nothing could cover up that hiraeth, that deep yearning in what resemblance of a soul he still had.
No words were exchanged in that newfound somber atmosphere, just the occasional clinking of ornaments or ringing of bells.
(Y/n) was distracted, drastically engrossed in the possible reasons why Seek was so elated by a holiday which he likely didn't celebrate. Unless he did, or had.
As her eyes caught him, she dared to speak up,"...Why do you like Christmas? What does it mean to you?"
Lacking a mouth didn't stop him from generating a sound similar to a sigh, and his narrowed glare fixed onto her as he said what he wanted out of rage,"It was a better time, not that a petty human like you would get that."
"What was it? Was it having family, friends?"
A sort of fog developed in his head; everything felt so fuzzy...all that his mind could entertain was the idea of having a holiday like he had before. Was it possible to recreate it, or was he wasting his time and hers?
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Once the decorations were all organised, the ballroom was alive with that same festive spirit. He could hear the elegant, graceful melodies that occupied the space, accompanied by the human laughter and joy. How he longed for that same bubbly atmosphere...
A hand crept onto his shoulder, yet he didn't pull away.
"Merry Christmas, Seek." (Y/n) uttered quietly, her lips where his ear would have been those years ago.
With an audible reluctance, Seek reached back into that same box to show (Y/n) something, believing she was the right one to speak with regarding it.
Producing a silvery frame adorned with snowflakes, he guided (Y/n)'s interest to it.
Inhaling a deep breath, he calmed his manic nerves,"This...I believe it was about fifty years ago. People, music, smiles and lights...I remember it as though it were yesterday."
The frame presented an aged picture containing a group of people, a generously decorated tree and many, many smiles. Seek's finger indicated her gaze to a man in the corner, whose hair covered one of his eyes partially.
"That...that was me, all those years ago." He admits, his fingertip slowly sliding across the frame to another man,"That was Hide. I know you know we're brothers, but I bet you didn't know we were human at one point."
No amount of words could describe her awe,"...Woah, you were human? You looked so...cool. That's awesome."
Sighing again, Seek wraps an arm around (Y/n),"Merry Christmas, (Y/n)...I can't thank you enough."
