Cat Eyes: Sirius [Book 1]

Chapter 19: Confessions

Before going to sleep, I picked up a rock from the ground and took it with me.

"I will not hurt you," assured Sirius when he saw my action.

"Sorry, but I've heard you say that before," I replied angrily.

"I won't hurt you, Marien," he insisted. "Besides, that wouldn't stop me."

"You underestimate me, Sirius."

He sighed heavily.

"Yeah, I guess..."

He sat at the foot of a tree. He would surely be alert all night in case Orion was chasing us. I remembered that he had not eaten anything, so I took a milk bottle and gave it to him. It took me a lot of willpower.

"Assuming, of course, that you really like it and it wasn't another lie."

He gave me a severe gaze, but something else in his eyes indicated resignation, accepting my attacks without complaint. I went back to my spot to sleep.

"I don't like it as much as I like you..."

I looked at him, surprised after feeling the jump of my aching heart when hearing him say that. Had he really said it?

Sirius looked at the floor with his legs bent and forearms on his knees. He was holding the bottle in one hand.

"That was what saved you from them and me, that I liked you since I saw you," he murmured.

My heart raced. Was he declaring his love for me or whatever he felt? Weren't they supposed not to know about it? Although perhaps it was evident that he knew at least about liking something or someone.

"All my life, I was trained to hate humans. My tutor trained me since I was a boy because it was a matter of honor. He said I belonged to him and filled my mind with ideas about you all. And for a time, I believed it. Seeing that Orion's ideas had influenced me, my father told me I deserved to be his son." He seemed sad about it. "I would have preferred to be like him and not like Orion, but I grew up respecting him. That happens, I suppose, when someone has been around since you were little. But I still don't understand... Why did I betray them for you? I betrayed people who have been with me almost all my life... because of you."

"Well, you shouldn't have if you knew you couldn't."

"I was going to be able to. I was determined to clean up my mother's honor. The mission was easy. Winning the trust of Doctor Ramos and bringing her circumstances helped, and I had to get rid of anyone who got in the way." He paused slightly. "But as soon as I saw you... You seemed the most fragile and innocent creature I had ever seen; you didn't seem to be what Orion had described, and you seemed concerned about me, risking yourself as well." He frowned. "A thousand times, I thought about disappearing and coming to be killed, but I could not get away from you. I couldn't leave you." He ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't understand. I feel that if something happens to you, I will die just like that... This cannot be good or normal..." I noticed the anguish on his face. "You have no idea what you're causing me. What did you do to me?"

As I supposed, he could feel love but found no explanation of what it was. I felt a lot of sadness because I still couldn't forgive him, and now, I was dying to be able to do it, forget, and run to him to explain and tell him what I also felt. But I was scared.

"I did nothing. If you don't figure it out yourself, there is nothing to explain."

"Well, I like you more than chocolate or hunting. I appreciate you as someone very close, but at the same time, it is very different. I was happy when you showed preference towards me, smiled at me, hugged me, and kissed me on the cheek... When..." He looked at me, somewhat embarrassed. "When you gave me that strange kiss on the lips... I... You made me fly. What was it?"