Premonition

Chapter 4

I don't know how I got from the first day of school to my birthday. It didn't feel like time was going by that fast, so it surprises me, I guess.

It's September 23rd and I'm 16 now. I don't feel any different, really. I feel the same as I always do. Tired, bored, unhappy. Nothing new. All today symbolizes is me being alive for another year of torture.

It's Friday at least, so after school I can go out with my friends without the worry of getting up early the next morning. But to be fair, it's not like I sleep that much on a regular basis. I should probably do something about that.

After pulling myself out of bed and forcing myself to get dressed, I walk out into the kitchen where I see Sora. He has two chocolate donuts and two cups of milk.

"Happy birthday!" He beams at me. "I know it's not a cake, but... you deserve something!" He offers me a donut, and I crack a small smile.

"Thanks, man," I say in a tired, yet sincere tone. I grab the donut and cup of milk from the counter and begin eating. I don't really like eating in the morning, if at all, but I appreciate Sora's gesture, so I eat anyways.

I look out the window into the dark neighborhood. I try to remember the last time my parents gave me something for my birthday. It's 6:00 A.M., way too early for these depressing thoughts. But once they start, I can't stop them.

I have a vague memory of my mom getting me Barbies and things of the sort when I was young. When I turned 10, all I ever got were clothes. Then, on my 14th birthday, I got nothing. I haven't gotten anything since. My 14th birthday was my first birthday after coming out. Go figure.

We only ever celebrated Sora's birthday, though. He got a cake and ice cream and had a present-opening ceremony. As for me, I was just handed my presents and told "happy birthday." It's quite obvious who the golden child is. At least Sora never grew up to be a spoiled brat.

But my pathetic birthday "celebrations" weren't the only thing that stopped after I came out; so did Sora's. And by God does it make me feel guilty. Sora doesn't have birthday parties anymore. He doesn't get presents. His birthday doesn't even get acknowledged, just like mine. Sora insists it's not my fault, and if Mom and Dad love him less for supporting me then that's on Mom and Dad, but I still blame myself. How can I not? It's not a coincidence that our birthday celebrations stopped after I came out.

I don't want to think about this anymore.

"I'm thinking after school we go get something to eat and then go to the arcade?" Sora recommends. "With the rest of the group, of course."

"Sure," I nod, "but I think we should go to the arcade first. Otherwise, we'll be eating dinner at, like, 3:00 P.M."

"Good point," Sora agrees, his warm smile growing. "Mom and Dad are gone by the way."

At the mention of this, I glance outside the window facing the driveway and sure enough, both their cars are gone. I grin, but I can't help but wonder where they are. They both work 9-5s, so I can't imagine why they'd need to leave by 6:00.

Oh well. At least I can listen to music.

And that's exactly what I do. I turn on my Smart TV and pull up Spotify. I shuffle a playlist and the first song to play is Time to Dance by Panic! At the Disco, a band I like quite a lot. I don't support Brendon Urie and his... actions, however. And even if I did, anything after Death of a Bachelor blows, besides a select few songs on Pray for the Wicked. The band's old music is good, though. A Fever You Can't Sweat Out is a glorious album.

Since my parents aren't home, I have the option to turn up my music as loud as I want. And believe me when I say I do exactly that. Sora doesn't mind; he likes this music too.