sitting just behind you

nothing lasts forever

Dasom's POV :

My head was hurting. Is it how you feel after you die, I wondered. Maybe it is still a long run before I get to leave. I was feeling quite conscious of my surroundings even though my eyes were still closed. I eventually opened my eyes and the first person I saw was Taehyung.

He seemed like he was awake for a thousand years, completely sleep deprived. He was holding my hand and waiting for me to wake up. This is what happened years ago when Seojung injured me. I was so happy for a moment I felt like the old things between us were back.

"Yah paboyaa, how could you do this to yourself. "I turned to the other side. It was Jin oppa.Taehyung helped me to get seated. I felt guilty of my actions now. He must be really hurt. "Mianhae , Jin oppa. Jinja mianhae."

"Don't you know I am also there for you.Huh! What did I said you years ago, don't you remember now? I don't know what is happening between you two, I won't even come in between your relation, but if you keep hurting yourself I will not forgive you. Is this how you apologise to me? You dont even have the same conviction I have always seen in your voice Dasom."

I just kept my head down and listened to him. Taehyung kept silent too. Jin oppa sighed. "Dasom, Tae told me about everything. You are not in the right direction for solving your conflicts. Both of you have built a wall between each other and no one seems to be able to climb it for the other. Wae?"he said and left the room.

We were alone now. We used to be enough before, but now we feel alone together. I looked at him, he was looking at me for the whole time. "You must be hungry, come I will help you to clean up first, then you can eat."

"Tae,"I called him."The doctor said you will get discharged today, your wounds are not too severe,"he said.

"Tae, listen to me," I said quietly. "Ne, I am listening,"he sat beside me again.

But now I couldn't say anything , I couldn't even face him. He wrapped his arms around me." Dasom, let it out." With that all the emotions I was helding inside just flooded out in the form of tears. I had a very long cry. I kept crying on his shoulder for I don't know how much long. He just kept comforting me. I punched him weakly.

"Why did you come back?"I asked him.

"How could I not? You were not answering my calls. I was scared you tried to hurt yourself again. I know I made mistakes, but you cannot punish me like this. Can we not be together in this?"

He was crying. The last time I saw him crying was when Seojung injured me and I woke up five days later. He was in the same condition as now.

"Mianhae. I hurt you so much. You are carrying so many wounds no one will ever be able to see."

He shook his head. "Aniya I am fine. I am completely fine as long as we are together. Just answer me, are we?"

"Mianhae. Taehyungssi but now we should just part our ways. You have already done so much for my sake. You don't have to be with me again. I don't want you to keep hurting yourself while yu try to heal me. In the end none of us will be happy."

His arms dropped and he just stood still. His face lost every emotion it showed. He just froze. It felt like the time has stopped for him. The time only ran for me. And with every passing second we were getting further apart.

"Taehyung,"I tried to bring him to senses.

He was shaken and in the next moment he just collapsed. "I can't take it anymore. No matter how much I try we just keep getting further apart. Why did time not keep us getting closer? Why? You want me to leave because you think that loving you is able to hurt me. You don't even want to try to collect me Where should I go now? What should I do? We have created what we have, the good and the bad, and you want to leave it here. Now that we have reached here you are just giving up like this. Did it not hurt you to say this thing Dasom? Because it hurt like hell to hear it. How could you even for a second think of us like that? Even when we were at our worst, I thought it was us not you and me. We are not us anymore. I am sorry. I am sorry we have to be in such a condition. But will you not even consider us?" He kept crying.

Did I hurt him? Is this even something to ask. Why did I say what I said? I can't leave him alone. I can't just move further apart. What have I done?

I came down of my bed and sat beside him. He was all curled up in himself. I held him. I was stil feeling too weak to pull him like I always do. I just rested my head on his arms.

"Taehyung, listen to me,"I tried to calm him. But he just couldn't. Everything is so overwhelming. Only sorry is roaming around my head. I can't think of anything else. I can't speak my mind.

My heart feels like its sinking. My head feels so heavy. I know I have messed up.

"Taehyu-"I tried to say but I don't know what happened in the next moment.