Time for some powerful, evocative writing
time to turn suffering into
readable bite-sized chunks of angst!
Times like these,
I can visualize how the body stores trauma
In the fold
of your elbow,
the
slouch of your spine,
the bottom of
your gut, festering
raw and
treacherous, a memory
from 5 years old,
a memory from this morning,
and Sometimes
there's no space to make memories,
when you're in a constant state of dread
You know I Just want to shrink Become so small I disappear in thin air Dissipate like so many people do, eventually, at some point I can be a reference point, for others to know,I mustn't do that, or else i'll become
a fucking ghost
Self-inflicted suffering
It is my fault
Don't try to tell me it's not
If I was stronger,
smarter,
I wouldn't be so sad
I wouldn't be
sick and broken like this Good things happen to
everyone; there's no exception; and everyone gets a chance to be happy; and they seize the chance; and it's all very sensible . very very sensible.
i never know how to make sense
It's one life, it's so small,
and I just don't fucking GET it —
trauma container - i go shake shake - i'm empty
make a lot of sound but got no bite
i'm the lunchbox children don't like to bring to school
my mother tells me i've been so bright so smart since i was so small like three years old there was an old teacher who had a grandson named mahad or something and she said i was quicker than him and we were three years old! just three! my mother goes on to add that the family issues really fucked me up, but i can still do it all if i want, i can do whatever i want, become so great, the greatest of this dirty lot
trauma container, nostalgia machine, miserable mermaid —
we'll be the greatest.
