Pit box ~Larry Stylinson~

Chapter 15

Charles
I'm really not fine, but the thing is: everyone has problems, so I can't tell anyone. Carlos has his whole own mental health issues right now, Lando is 24/7 struggling with hisself and how he can help Carlos, Louis doesn't believes in hisself anymore, and even Max has problems, with his father.

So the thing is, I keep everything in my head, I keep everything for myself, and yes, it went wrong this way the last time. But the thing is that the last time I just didn't asked for help, and now I can't ask for help.

The only person I could talk to is Pierre, but Pierre and I never have serious conversations, so I'm scared he will see everything as a joke. Now I'm in my hotel room, alone, I asked for a single room because I need some time alone. I need to order my thoughts. Will this pass? Will this feeling pass? A good question for me. I don't know, I really hope it does, because I feel like shit.

You know, I'm so worried about the others, I hope they all are alright, or can help each other. I always have been an introvert, but now I feel I'm fading into the background more than I usually do, I just want to be alone. I need to be alone. I need to get better. I. Need. To.

Suddenly I hear a small knock on my door, I sight. "Charles?" I immediately hear the Dutch accent in the person's voice. I sigt sofr but stand up and open the door. Max is standing there, he walks into the room. "My father is here so I'm hiding myself on your room from now, because we talked and he was a dick so I kind of ran away" Max smiles crooked. "What were you doing Charlie?" He asks. I shrug. "Not really anything" I say. "Boring." I laugh short and roll my eyes.

"So... you're just sitting here?" Max asks. "Alone?" I nod. "Yes." Then his eyes look worried in mine. "Charlie, what's wrong love?"

Louis
I'm bored as hell, so I decide to walk to the grid and see if Harry is there.

When I'm in the pit box I spot Harry by the cars. "Hey Haz!" I say, he looks up to see who called his name, then he smiles. "Oh hi! We're using nicknames now?" He asks laughing. I laugh too. "I guess we are." "Well, good to see you again Lou."

When Harry is done doing something to the car we decide to make a round on the grid, but then it starts to rain softly. "Ah, typical Dutch weather" I say, Harry chuckles. "Shall we walk to the motorhome?" Harry nods.

.

In the motorhome I close the door behind me. "I've never been in a motorhome before" Harry confesses. "Oh really? Well it's nothing special, actually, just a place to chill a bit" I say, I smile, Harry smiles back. "Ah okay."

After Harry and I did a small tour trough the motorhome we sit down on a couch in me and Max's room. "Where in Engeland do you come from?" Harry asks then. "I'm from Doncaster, you?" "I was born in Reddich, but I moved to Holmes Chapel when I was a kid" Harry answers.

"Can I ask you something Louis?" Harry asks after a short silence. "Yes, of course!" I look at him. "Ask what you want." "Well, um..." he starts, he swallows, he looks kinda nervous. "Do you- A-... Are you single?" I smile. Is there a chance he likes me back? "Yes, I am single" I say. "And you?" "Yeah, me too..."

I feel the tension in the air, no one of us dares to say something. "So..." Harry starts again, he cleares his troat. "Um, you're not intrested in someone either..." "I didn't said that" I say with a crooked smile. Harry looks at me, his green eyes are sparkling. "So you have a crush?" He asks. "Well, I can say I fancy someone, yeah."

Harry grins. "Who is it?" He asks. "I can't tell you that!" "Oh c'mon Lou!" "Nope, not gonna tell you." Harry makes a fake sad face. "Puppy eyes isn't gonna work Styles!" I say laughing.

"I fancy someone too" Harry says then, and my heart sinks in my shoes. He already likes someone, shit. "Oh" I say. "Who?" "I can't tell you that" he says, mocking me. I smile and roll my eyes. "You're using my own sentence against me! Unfair Styles!" I say laughing, Harry laughs too.

I notice Harry gets a bit closer. "I can describe him if you want?" He asks then, I nod. "Yeah okay." Harry smiles to hisself. "Well, um, he has brown hair, a bit too long actually, but I think it looks good, and he has this gorgeous blue eyes that starts to shine every time he gets happy" Harry says. " I look confused at him. "Did you just..." Harry looks expecting at me. "Nevermind."

"What did you want to say Louis?" Harry looks me in my eyes and I swear I could drown in them. "Nothing" I say fast. "Yes you do, tell me" he says smiling. I sight. "I'm making everything weird if I say this..." "You never know, just ask, I won't judge you."

"Harry..." I start. "Did you... described me?" I see Harry getting a bit red. "Um, well... Lou, sorry if you don't feel the same, but... I- I think you're really- um... hot..." he mumbles, his face is red and he looks at his feet. "Sorry" he says. "That was stupid, forget it..."

"Harry" I say. He looks me in my eyes. "I feel exactly the same" his eyes start to spark again. "R-really?" I smile and nod. "Really."

Then he leans towards me. "Is this-" "It's okay yes." Then his lips touches mine soft. It's a soft lovely kiss, I almost melt from it. Then the reality crashes down in my mind. We can't do this. I pull away. "Harry... we can't do this... you work for my team, and fuck,  I want to be with you, but what if Christian finds out? I don't want to risk my career for this..." And when Harry looks me hurt in my eyes I notice what I said. I said my career is more important than him.

"Shit sorry, I didn't meant it like that" I say. "Stop it, stop the excuses, it's okay, I thought you liked me that, well you didn't did it enough, and that's what it is" Harry stands up. "I um... see you later." And with that he walks away, leaving me with guilt. What did I do?

Oops (Hi!) sorry for almost a week no updates <33 Hope y'all had good holidays xx