The dawning reality that her father in law would never consider her a valid person or a human being haunted her to her very core.
As she tried to put on lipstick normally, she felt like a pig with lipstick on. Like she would forever be nothing in their eyes. Just someone to ogle at and admire. The lipstick just made her more beautiful in their eyes. But it made her feel like a pig. A pig who was there. The apple of no one's eye.
She stared longingly into the mirror. What was it about her that her father in law didn't like? Was it her face? Her body? What was it? All she wanted was love. She wanted some love to feel the void in her heart. To make her feel whole. Like she was not just a thing for people to stare at. It was like an infinite black hole that sapped up every piece of love and attention, but it would never fill the hole in her heart. She would be a Geisha, an entertainer for those filthy pigs who was wanted to see someone perform for their sick interests.
Y/N wears a dark brownish-red kimono with red embroidery and matching hems with a high collar cinched at the waist by a red-and-gold obi with gold-and-red embroidery of circles and secured with a ribbon of gold rope. She holds a white Japanese folding fan with a red border and a fading red-to-white tassel in her folded hands.
She was dancing in misery. On this empty stage full of grief and memories. She danced on her own. The white folding Dan with a red border covered her face as she spun it around in her hands. She had a smile on her face, because now, she was free. Her soul was free. Although,
Moonlit nights would be constantly empty without him. Forever.
As she spun, a smile was etched on her S/C face. She felt human. Like she was more then an entertainer. More then a Geisha. As she sat down on the floor, the world began to blur. She wasn't dancing anymore. It was her father in law on top of her, with a razor sharp knife. That final dance was her imagination. Here she was, on the cold grass. She touched her chest, the smell of iron filled her nose. Blood seeped out of her chest as she hit the floor. Everything blurred.
Tears filled her eyes. Laughter from her father in law filled her ears. The smell of her own blood filled her nostrils. She was dying. She never wanted to die. Not while he was away. She wanted to die of old age. She felt everything slipping out of control. She didn't want to die this early. Not while she was so young. She had so much left to live. So much left.
She felt everything spiral out of control, her body went limp.
