The House of Sorrows

Chapter 40: "Sword to His Throat"

"Freddy. Do you know why I'm here?" I asked, my voice was surprisingly calm despite the circumstances.

"Yes. I do. You're here to kill me." He said without hesitation, not even a flinch in sight as droplets of water landed in his eyes and threatened to blur his vision.

"I am. Are you scared? Angry? Do you still think that you love me?" I yelled into the night, my voice had anger imbedded in it.

"No. I'm not afraid, or angry, and I stopped loving you the moment I saw your pain for the first time. Right here in fact, kneeled down on this street, clutching the boy you actually loved in your arms." He said mockingly.

I slowly walked towards him, icy wind blowing against my already red cheeks, so cold it threatened to turn them to ice and break them open. I continued my trek towards him. Rapier ready to strike at any second, begging me to do it quick. But some twisted part of me wanted it to be slow, like my suffering was for those two months, like Lockwood's recovery was after Freddy had shot him.

So I picked up my pace, raised my rapier in the air and swung it down as I found myself in front of him. He just barely escaped my blade, by blocking with his own. One thing he didn't prepare for was the imbalance of skill. He had picked up a rapier a few months ago, I'd been using one for the past 5 years. I twisted past his futile strike at me before elbowing him in the back sending him flying forward. But I hesitated. I did what I promised myself I wouldn't do. So he rolled to the side, stood up with his rapier in hand and sliced across my arm. I jumped back and ducked his incoming blow while attempting one of my own. My blade slashed across his cheek, leaving a path of blood in its wake. Another turn from me and I had my blade to his throat.

He had a twisted smile on his face as my rapier was digging into his skin, preparing to lunge forward. He dropped his rapier and I heard the echo of its fall all around me. I quickly raised my other arm and pushed him to the ground, he was flat on his back, face to the sky as the rain was coming to drown him.

"Do you remember what I said the last time we were here? I said I was going to kill you. And now here we are. My sword, to your throat. I keep my promises." I shouted as loud as i could, as if trying to out vocalize the howling wind.

Here I am, I was the one in control, the one with the power. I was standing above him, my sword to his throat, him lying defeated on the ground, my boot on his chest. All I had to do was push my blade and inch further and he would die, all I had to do was lift my foot and bring it down hard enough for him to die, I had the power. I was the hero. I was—

"Lucy! Lucy don't! Don't do this!" I heard a desperate and cracking voice from behind me.

I turned to see Lockwood, soaked from the rain, Holly and George were nowhere in sight. He had a look in his eyes, one of disappointment. In me. I couldn't really blame him, he fell in love with a kind, trusting, and caring girl, not the broken one he saw before him now. He deserved better, and I didn't deserve him.

"Lucy please! Please put down the sword and we can call DEPRAC, don't kill him!" Lockwood yelled over the storm.

"Lockwood, don't. Don't try and stop me, it needs to be done, he's a monster. He deserves this and more!" I screamed back, fighting tears from my eyes, he wouldn't be able to tell if I was crying, but the cracks in my voice would certainly give it away.

"I know, but we have him, if you kill him, no matter how justified, it'll haunt you." Lockwood spoke softer now, I hadn't noticed but he'd been creeping closer and closer as we'd talked, he was only about 10 feet away from me now.

"No. It won't, not anymore. Because he is the source of all my problems, all my pain. Because he is the reason I was tortured, for months, nightmares, paranoia, depression, a constant pain in my chest because I hadn't noticed I'd been holding my breath, it's him! Killing him will fix everything." I cried out, failing to keep the tears in this time.

"No it won't—" Lockwood started to say before I interrupted him.

"—maybe not but it's worth it, the revenge, not having to look over my shoulder. Because no matter how much I tried to hide it, and say that I'm the same, I'm not. I'm not the same sweet Lucy, I'm the Lucy that watched someone she loved die in front of her, and not being able to do anything about it, and I know you know how that feels, the hopelessness. So don't try and argue. Please." I begged, I wanted to listen to him, but I couldn't put everyone In jeopardy by letting Freddy live.

"Luce, I know you're in pain, and I know that we're different, it's bound to be different after something like that but you're still you." Even though I was about to commit murder, a heinous thing, his voice was still so kind, so understanding.

But I couldn't. I didn't.

"No, I'm not. The Lucy you knew, the one you cared about, she died when I thought that you did." I thundered out, challenging the volume of the storm surrounding me.

I still held my sword to his throat, he seemed fine. Not scared, almost...proud? No, no, it couldn't be, it's an act. Right...?