A KINGDOM OF DEAD HEARTS [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 20: IN HIS ARMS

She cried and gasped for air, as both anger and sadness engulfed her like tsunami waves, disorienting her, robbing her of all her thought process.

Her body slumped next to the door, and Xander caught her so she did not fall face first on the floor.

She struggled to let go of herself, she was not sure why, maybe she was ashamed because she was crying like a baby. But Xander did not let go of her, his arms tightened around her.

"I am sorry you had to witness all ... all of that, Xander," she whispered among her sobs, and finally she curled her arms now in Xander's arms – holding him, borrowing a bit of strength.

"Do not apologize," Xander whispered.

Airin tried to stop crying, but the tears kept falling as if it had been dammed for so long, and now the dam broke and they all charged ahead and tumbled down.

She buried her face in Xander's chest, and his hoodie was wet from her tears, for a split second she did think that maybe she should push herself away from him, but she could not will herself to do exactly that.

Xander was quiet, his arms embraced her and the warmth slowly seeped into every strand of her being, her tears receded, and her gasped breath became calmer, more regular.

"I am sorry ... you must feel quite uncomfortable now," she whispered as she found her voice again and pushed herself away from Xander's arms. She could now see large tears stain covering the front part of Xander's hoodie. Good job, Airin! What a drama that you have pulled Xander into! she reprimanded herself in her mind.

But Xander did not seem to mind. Slowly his right hand went up, and floated closely to Airin's cheek, and he nodded as he wiped tears from the corner of Airin's left eye. Those electrifying blue eyes grew softer. "From the way you cried, it seems like you have tried so hard not to cry, for so long. That takes strength, Airin. But I think ... I believe ... to let it go, to cry it out, to hold on to someone else's arms, to stay alive, like you did, take even more strength and bravery. You are stronger, braver, than me. I believe that," the message of Xander startled Airin.

The man sighed.

The two sat for a long time on the floor, and Airin, for reasons she was not sure why, started telling Xander all about her Mom and Dad, her grief of her Mom's passing, and her difficult relation with Dad.

Xander listened without a word.

And Airin just talked. Mumbling sometimes. She did not even dare to look at Xander, she was not sure she was ready to see his facial expression in reaction to her life story.

She felt that in a way, to talk without the other person commenting, or suggesting something, or giving some sort of pep talk and advice, but just knowing that someone listened to her in full focus, was weirdly liberating.

She just realized that now. The quietness that hung in the air, but it did not scare her, because that quietness was not a prelude to an explosive anger, or a string of hurtful words, like with Dad. The quietness that simply meant "I am here."

When she finally felt like she had told enough, she quit talking. The rain fell outside, and it was well past midnight.

"Xander?" she called out softly to Xander who was by now turning his head down, his expression was grim, as if there were so much in his mind that wanted to get out, but could not.

"Are you alright? I am sorry, I should not have talked so much ... I ..."

"No, Airin, no. Do not apologize. I am ... I am alright. Go rest, Airin. It is late."