Take Me Back

The Survivors

   "Guys, look! Kendo's back!" Pony shouted when Kendo and Izuku arrived at the camp.
   Everyone at the camp rushed over with a smile and a sigh of relief after hearing that she returned safely.
   "Hey everyone. I brought someone with me." Kendo said as she looked over at Izuku.
   "Oh my gosh, you're alive!" Pony shouted excitedly as she ran over and gave him a hug.
   Izuku hugged back, relieved to finally be around normal people again.
   "But, how is that possible? We all thought you died." Awase said in disbelief.
   "He woke up in the hospital. I guess the wanderers didn't know he was still there. I found him hiding from a wanderer inside Bakugou's house when I went on my supply run." Kendo explained.
   "Who was the wanderer?" Pony asked.
   Kendo and Izuku fell silent. For some reason, they didn't want to disclose that information to them.
   "It was Kacchan's mom." Izuku said after a minute of silence.
   "Did you see Bakugou?" Awase asked.
   "No, we didn't. Neither of us know where he or any of the members of class 1A are. We don't even know if they're still alive." Kendo said with a sigh.
   Everyone else hung their heads silently, none of them really having anything to say.
   "Well, we can't dwell on that now.  Awase, go get Vlad King so we can get Izuku a change of clothes." Kendo said sternly.
   Awase nodded his head and turned towards one of the tents positioned on the far side of the camp. Kendo turned back towards Izuku and saw that his head was still positioned towards the ground and he wasn't saying anything.
   "Hey, you can relax. You're safe here." Kendo said reassuringly, putting her hand on Izuku's shoulder.
   "It's not that I just-" His voice trailed off as he looked around the camp.
   "I know. I promise we're gonna do whatever we can to find them. Okay?"
   Izuku looked at Kendo and smiled. "Okay."
   Kendo patted his shoulder and led him over to Vlad King's tent.
   "Hey Midoriya. It's good to see that you're safe." Vlad said as he came out of his tent.
   Izuku smiled slightly and nodded his head. He didn't really have anything he wanted nor needed to say at that moment.
   "I bet you were really lost and confused; not to mention scared."
   "Yea, I was." Izuku said slowly.
   "Well, these are for you." Vlad said as he handed Izuku a change of clothes. "Put these on and you should feel a bit better."
   "Thank you." Izuku replied, taking the clothes from him.
   "We'll give you some space to relax and get used to things." Vlad said as he and Kendo walked away.

   "So where did you find him?"
   "I found him hiding in a closet inside Bakugou's home. He was attacked by Bakugou's mom who had been turned into a wanderer." Kendo explained.
   "That must've been difficult. Seeing someone you once trusted turned into a mindless monster. The kid must've been really confused and terrified."
   "He was. It made me feel bad for pulling a gun on him. Though I'm sure he understands why now. I needed to take precautions."
   "What does he plan to do now?" Vlad asked, pulling a jerky stick out of his pocket.
   "He wants to try to find his mom and classmates. He wants to know if they're okay."
   "That makes sense. However, he needs to rest before he goes out to do anything. He also needs to be better educated on what these things are capable of. If not, I fear he wouldn't last very long walking among them."
   Kendo nodded her head in agreement before going back to join the others.

   Later that night, everyone was sitting around a small fire, eating what little portion of beans they had left in silence.
   I wonder what Kacchan is doing right now. If he's even still alive. Izuku thought to himself.
   He was so busy thinking about his friends that he hadn't even really touched his food. He was just moving it around with his spoon in different directions.
   "You should eat that before it gets cold." Kendo said, snapping Izuku out of his thoughts.
   "Oh, sorry. I was just thinking." He responded, finally taking a bite of his food.
   "I know what you're feeling right now Izuku. I felt like that for the first two weeks after the outbreak before I found anyone. But trust me, thinking about it too much could get you killed. I should know."
   "What do you mean?" Izuku asked.
   Kendo looked at him with a small crooked smile before setting her now empty bowl down on the ground.
   "When this whole thing first started, I was on a hike. I was by myself as I wanted to just get away from civilization for a few hours. When I returned to the city and saw what it had become, I didn't know what to do and I had nobody to help me understand. I almost died multiple times trying to find normal people because I was so focused on trying to find my friends. I had to camp out in abandoned homes, I had to kill wanderers despite not knowing exactly what they were. I remember one night when I was camping out, I had been attacked by a wanderer that had found its way in. I didn't notice because I was so distracted thinking about my friends so it had the jump on me. I injured my leg pretty bad trying to escape and I thought I was a goner. But that's when Awase showed up and I finally got an explanation as to what was going on. That's also when I learned that focusing on other people almost got me killed multiple times and that, no matter how much you miss someone, it's not worth risking your life thinking about."
   Izuku looked down at his bowl, trying to process what Kendo just told him. If that's true then, I probably shouldn't be focusing on Kacchan and mom right now. However, I can't help it.
   "All my life, the only thing I've ever done is worry about other people. There have hardly been times where I thought about myself and my own safety. It's just who I am. No matter what I do, that'll never change."
   "Midoriya, times have changed. I hate to say this but, there are going to be lots of moments where you're gonna have to be a little selfish and worry about yourself. Because, in this world, there are people you're not gonna be able to save and you're gonna get yourself killed trying to help."
   Kendo then got up and walked away.
   "You know that's not entirely true." Izuku called after her which caused her to stop walking and turn around.
   "What?"
   "Isn't that the whole point in being a hero? Risking your life to help people? It's the one job that people in this world can still have. That dream doesn't die even in a world like this because there's always going to be people who need our help."
   Kendo didn't say anything. She just walked back over to the fire and sat down.
   "Look, I understand what you're saying. But I also know that, in a world like this, there are gonna be times when saving someone isn't worth it. With how small the population is now, we need as many of us to survive as possible. Now don't get me wrong, I wanna keep my hero ideals as much as you do but it's just not gonna be worth it in every situation. We need to fend for ourselves and the very few people that we manage to recruit along the way."

   I understand what Kendo is saying but at the same time, no matter what any of us try to do, we're gonna end up dead. Whether it's five or ten years from now it doesn't matter. We're not always gonna be strong enough to stay alive. There's always gonna be casualties whether we're protecting someone else or ourselves.
   Kendo lowered her head before standing up and walking away. She didn't even say anything when she did.
   "She gets like that sometimes you know?" Awase said, sitting down next to Izuku.
   "Yea, I guess the end of the world will do that to you." Izuku responded while putting his bowl on the ground.
   "That's true. But hey, I get where you're coming from. I feel the same way. It's just, you can't really talk about it too much in front of Kendo."
   "Why does she get so defensive about it anyway? I mean, she wanted to be a hero so bad." Izuku said in bewilderment.
   Awase shook his head and looked away.
   "Is there something you haven't told me yet?" Izuku asked.
   Awase didn't say anything and he was unable to make eye contact.
   "Awase, please. I just wanna understand and I can't do that if you don't tell me."
   Awase sighed and leaned forward. "Look, Kendo went through a lot more than what she told you. You see, when the city first got overrun, Kendo was trying to find Monoma. He was the only person she was thinking about and the only person she really wanted to find. The night that I found her, the wanderer that had attacked her was..." Awase's voice trailed off and he looked really sad.
   "Who was it?" Izuku asked.
   Awase looked up at him with saddened eyes as he didn't really know how to say the words that were lingering at the tip of his tongue.
   "The reason that Kendo got injured while trying to escape from that wanderer is because the wanderer was Monoma. Kendo was in a state of panic and shock when she found out and so she froze and wasn't able to kill him. That's when I showed up and did it for her. However, it almost got me killed because I was reckless with how I went in and I tripped. So now Kendo has this thought in her head that trying to help other people will only make things worse and that you should only worry about yourself when dealing with wanderers."
   "That's horrible. I can't imagine how that feels." Izuku said glumly.
   "Except you kind of do."
   Izuku looked up at Awase before looking back down at the ground. "I guess you're right. However, there's nothing that can be down now though so it's best not to dwell on it."
   "That's a smart way to think. I think you're gonna do just fine surviving in this world." Awase said, giving Izuku a pat on the back before walking off.

   I can't believe she went through that. That must have been difficult. But that still doesn't change my views. I'm still going to do whatever I can to help other people when they need it. Even if I have to risk my own life in the process.