Escape || Cole Walter

One

••welcome to colorado••

Ive never been one for hiding emotions. Ive never really had a reason to shove anything into my subconcious where I can no longer think of it.

For almost sixteen years, life has been perfect. Other than the feeling of wanting to get away from New York City and feeling like I wasnt getting enough attention, my family and I were perfect. To think about it now, it is a super eerie feeling. It's like my whole life was filled with light, brightness, the rainbow, and then it was engulfed by darkness.

Everything was muffled out. Suddenly my ears were closed and everything I saw was in a blur. I forgot everything, I mistreated everyone, there was just darkness.

After the accident, I understand why someone would want to lock all of their emotions away. Becoming numb seems like the only option right now.

If I let myself feel, I will fall.

••••

"Hi girls!" My eyes flick up, and I look through my glassy tears towards the voice. Throughout this whole transition, tears have filled my eyes, but never fell. They never ran onto my soft cheeks, showing my actual sentiment.

A kind lady with red hair stands in front of my sister and I with a sincere face. I didn't even notice her walking up. "I am so so happy you are here." She says with her lip faintly twitching. This has got to be so hard for her, taking in your best friend's kids after she died and pretending everything is fine, is so strong.

"Thank you Katherine." My sister says, addressing her first.

Embracing us in a hug, I squeeze back with my left arm and look over her shoulder to her husband, George. "Hi George." I add while we seperate. He tips his head to me with a smile.

Katherine looks to her husband, and they begin to help us grab our bags. "Oh no, its okay, I got mine." I say, grabbing onto the two bags I have.

Compared to Jackie, I have a lot less stuff. Before we left New York, I sold half of my belongings. I figured with a new life, new family, completely different Elle, I should find new stuff too.

I think in total I shipped about seven boxes of stuff, compared to my sister who shipped probably more than thirty.

The two of us are completely different, which makes this whole situation harder. The only thing we have in common is our planning and organization. Our sister, Lucy, was the bridge for Jackie and I to actually connect. Now shes gone, and there is such an awkward force that neither of us have settled. Jackies been pretending everythings fine, and forcing herself to do more and get involved, but I have been away from home, doing random things at all hours.

"Are you sure?" George asks me. I give him a short nod.

"Okay, can we get you anything. Have you guys eaten?" His wife asks.

"Im good." Jackie and I say at the same time. I havent eaten, but I dont want to be even more of a hastle.

"Okay." George says, starting to get a move on towards the car.

From everything that we've experienced with them so far, I think this will be good for us. These people seem very genuine. It makes me sad that we never really got to be with them when we were kids.

The entire car ride is silent, both Jackie and I have headphones in, and the couple in the front sit in comfortable silence. From just being with them, I can tell how much love they have for each other.

Colorado is utterly beautiful. I dont think Ive ever seen something I love so much. The mountains surround us, and words cant describe the way they take away my breath. When we lived in New York, I would drive out of the city for hours just to get away and see the nature. My favorite time of the year was fall because of all of the colors.

Silver Falls is quaint compared to New York. Its exciting to me because living somewhere where I can just get away and go for a beautiful hike has been something Ive wanted for a while. I can tell Jackie is less than enthusiastic about it though.

"You like the mountains Elle?" Katherine asks me. Our eyes meet through the rear view mirror, and she has an unreadable amused expression across her face.

"They are beautiful." I answer with joy. This is the first time Ive felt joy in months, but I know I shouldnt be.

Her eyes glow as she turns around enthusiastically. "You know, I talked to the dance studio we have here, and the manager she would love to have you come in. Your uncle told me about your passion for the ballet."

I blink twice and feel my body tense up. "Oh," My voice falters a little, but we all ignore it. "Thank you so much Katherine."

She nods, and turns back around.

The truth is, in New York I was on an insane track with my dancing career. I was so close to going ballet school and being party of these huge ballet programs. And then everything collapsed and it feels like I haven't been able to breathe since.

I faltered away from it. And now it is only something I do alone. Which is completely rare.

A couple minutes later, George pulls into a long, gravel driveway and exclaims, "Home sweet home."