Please Kill Me

Vol. 3 Chapter 2 - VICE VERSA, II

Since the birth of my and Dahlia's daughter, Ines, my life has completely changed. I became significantly busier than the days when I only had to take care of Dahlia, and I couldn't have a proper long and deep sleep even for a day. However, I was happier than ever.

With my overflowing love for baby Dahlia, my heart was filled with love and reverence like never before. If I had always endured my life with a large hole in my chest, always feeling something cold escaping, after reclaiming Dahlia and bringing her by my side, a blazing passion ignited within me. As a result, since the birth of baby Ines, the unquenchable lava of love seemed to flow, filling that hole completely and continuing to boil.

However, one thing was undeniably regrettable. It seemed that Dahlia developed some kind of neurosis after the birth of the baby. She became unusually sensitive and frequently became angry. Despite my best efforts to provide her with comfort and happiness by paying even more attention to every aspect, her symptoms worsened day by day.

I still loved Dahlia, even when she shouted at me and said harsh words. But as her anxiety, contempt, and expressions of negative emotions like hatred became more frequent, I grew fearful. My mother, Leticia Deluah Hindleton, also went mad through a similar process. She constantly doubted and suspected my father. Of course, my mother's suspicions were justified. My father's misdeeds left no room for doubt.

In the mansion, now there were only Dahlia, the baby, and me. Even if I swore to hire a servant, I had the confidence that I would never turn a blind eye or engage in any frivolous acts. However, once suspicion starts to ignite, its momentum does not diminish easily, leaving nothing untouched. In numerous classics I read in my great-aunt's study, someone ultimately faced death or even worse fate due to suspicion. Through those stories, I read about unfortunate protagonists who tried to prove their innocence but failed in the end.

At some point, Dahlia began to recoil from my touch as if all the passionate days of love we had shared never existed. Yet, when she occasionally suffered from chest pains, she would frequently ask me to suckle her breasts until her heavy and swollen breasts felt comfortable and light again.

However, that was as far as it went. As soon as I began to respond to suckling and my body instinctively reached out to her, my center extending towards her, it became something that couldn't even be hinted at. Although I was tired from dedicating a significant portion of my day to taking care of the baby and attending to various minor tasks, there were moments when I wanted to indulge my primal instincts that welled up inside me. Sometimes, I would be alone in the bathroom, touching myself.

Despite my efforts, Dahlia's heart remained unmoved. One day, she even declared that she wouldn't eat or breastfeed the baby. I was worried and saddened by the plight of baby Ines, but Dahlia, tormented by uncontrollable lactation, also suffered. I had no choice but to feed Ines sugar-dissolved oatmeal water. Fortunately, Dahlia changed her mind before the day was over.

And not long after, Dahlia expressed a desire to hold the baby and be alone with her. Her suggestion of going out to Secretia Woods was a tempting idea. I hoped that somehow, she would regain her strength, her mood would improve, and that the night would come when we could share love again. Even if the intense passion and breathless nights of love did not return, I fervently wished that she wouldn't show any aversion to being with me.

Yet, on the other hand, I was grateful for Dahlia's love for our baby Ines, even if she hated me. Since Dahlia was spending more time in the woods, I believed that when spring arrived in the forest, cherry blossoms would bloom in her heart, and positive energy would come to her.

"Dahlia, today feels quite spring-like. It's not yet spring, but while you're in the forest, should I wrap Ines in a fluffy blanket and take her out?"

"No! Absolutely not! Ines is still a baby. Spring hasn't come yet!"