On-Brand Loyalty - Off the Clock

Christmas Short 2 - Secret Santa

'Twas the night of [REDACTED], when all through the spire,
The drones were huddled, the situation nary so dire.

Within the landing pod, J's squad sat in a circle with their damaged pod having some minor holiday decorations. The Disassembly Drones had their usual festive attire of sweaters, scarfs, and hats while their newest member Dror settled for a Santa jacket. Each of them had a present in hand, some better wrapped than others.

V looked around, "So...who goes first?"

N raised his hand, "Oh, me! Me!" He walked over and handed J a small, poorly wrapped item. "I got you J, hope you like it."

The squad leader glared at the amateur wrapping job but shrugged, opening it to reveal a plastic mug. It's a basic one, white with some taped up cracks all around it with a crudely painted "JCJ' on it. J stared at it for a second before placing it on the control console without a word, away from her prized JCJenson collection but in no ways rejecting the gift.

J held up a small professionally wrapped gift, "Here." She tossed it at N, who fumbled to grab it before he quickly tore into it. Within the paper is a basic "how to draw" book for children.

N looked at J with joyous excitement, "I love it, thanks J!" The pigtailed leader rolled her eyes but still had a small smile.

Dror looked over at V, "So who goes-..." He barely catches V's present with a glare, narrowly avoiding getting hit in the head. "Okay..." He opens it up to reveal it's a DVD case for old human monster movies, the theme of them being all about oversized bugs such as ants, spiders, and even a mantis. While they're not like the metallic roaches of Copper-9, Dror still feels a shiver.

He glares at V, "You think you're funny, don't you?" V simply stick her tongue at him, earning an annoy grunt and for Dror to slide a small box with his foot at V. Not bothering with theatrics, V uses a claw to slice open the paper and see a simple box with a lid. She peaked inside and blushed.

In the box is a heart-shaped picture frame with image of N and V photoshopped together with the words "I ship it" on the top. Her flustered glare at Dror is met with a stuck-out tongue and a barely concealed middle finger.

"So..." All four drones turned to the corner of the room to see Uzi sitting on a chair, arms crossed and bored, "Why am I here?"

J muttered, "Oh yeah..." She held up a gift, "There's four of us yet there was an extra package left here. None of us made it and so, given the chance it's a bomb or prank, we opted to have you open it for us."

As she's forcibly handed the gift, Uzi sputtered, "EXCUSE ME!?" She glared at her closest friend in the group, "N?!"

He sheepishly looked away, "Sorry Uzi, I was outvoted..." J and Dror both smirked mockingly at her while V slung an arm over N's shoulder, pulling him closer as he shot a protective and smug look at Uzi.

The punk girl growled, "Fine! But if it's cool I'm keeping it." She slowly removed the packaging, careful not to trigger any sensitive triggers. "Huh..."

Removing it from the wrapping paper, Uzi held up a small metal-crafted statue...in the shape of a hand giving a middle finger. While most of the drones looked at it confused, both Dror and J's eyes widened and they shot each other a look. "Oh profits...." they both muttered.

J grabbed Dror by the scruff of his jacket and quickly jumped out of the landing pod. Noticing their panicked expressions, V followed suit and grabbed N before flying out.

Left behind, Uzi tilted her head, "What the heck?" She then heard a small beeping sound and noticed it coming from the 'present, "...ah crap..."

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Hearing a small explosion in the distance, M started laughing hysterically while her leader D got wrapped up in a more subtle laughing fit. It took forever to reconstruct the explosive "gift" but it was worth it.

Little did they know, Z is perched above them on a rooftop unnoticed. She has a Christmas hat on while W beside her has reindeer antlers. Z turned to the readers, "Happy holiday humans, spend it well..." She then shifted one of her hands into a rocket launcher and fired one at D and M without looking.