Wishing on you

Chapter 12

Big chapter 

Xander pov

I stormed out of the room, the anger and frustration boiling over. I couldn't believe she'd reacted like that, having those panic attacks. She was so scared, but of what? She couldn't have it possibly as bad as I did. Her life had to have been easy. The thought was a bitter pill to swallow, and it only fueled my anger.

The hallway blurred around me as I walked, my feet carrying me on autopilot to the front door of the police station. Why did she have to be so fragile? So broken? It made me feel like I'd failed her somehow but why do I feel this way I'm mad at her for leaving me so why do I care if she broken I'm broken too. The weight of my past pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe. I felt like I was drowning in my own emotions, unsure of how to keep my head above water.

I walked faster, trying to outrun the feelings that were swirling inside me. But they only seemed to follow, echoing off the walls of the hallway. I felt like I was losing control, like I was going to explode at any moment. The sound of my footsteps was the only thing that seemed to ground me, but even that wasn't enough to calm the storm raging inside me.

I finally reached the door and slammed it open. The sound echoed through the outside world, a satisfying release of tension. I stepped out into the cool night air, feeling it hit me like a slap in the face. It was a shock, but it was what I needed. Maybe the fresh air would clear my head, help me to think more clearly.

I heard footsteps behind me and looked over my shoulder to see who it was. It turned out to be all my brothers. "Let's go home," Lorenzo said, his deep voice a familiar comfort. I hopped into the car next to Xavier on my left and Elliot on my right, who was looking out the window, lost in thought.

My other brothers, Carter, was in his own car, preferring to be alone with his own thoughts. Tony was in the passenger seat, a "passenger princess" as we liked to tease him, though he'd never admit it. It was always fun to annoy him, watching him get annoyed was entertaining. Lorenzo took the driver's seat, and I looked over at my twin, Xavier. He was staring down, his eyes fixed on his arm.

I followed his gaze to the scar under one of his tattoos. It was a constant reminder of a night that still haunted me. I felt a pang of guilt and regret, wondering if I could have done something to prevent it. The memories of that night still lingered, the feeling of helplessness and failure. I couldn't shake the thought that it was all my fault.

He wasn't supposed to come into my room. I shouldn't have tried to kick or make noise. I'm the reason he came to check. He kept saying it was because he heard the glass, but I knew the truth. I wasn't going to be home that night, had planned to go out and drink, but I fell asleep instead. If I had gone out, they would have taken me from the bar, not from home, where he was.

I look back at him, and his eyes seem empty, the spark gone. We all lost that spark when Harper was taken, but it got worse when we were taken too. He's just a shell of himself now, and it's all my fault. I glance at his arm, and my mind starts to wander. I see flashes of that night, the sound of shattering glass, the feeling of helplessness. My mind starts to replay the what-ifs, the could-haves, the should-haves. What if I had gone out as planned? Would everything be different? The thoughts swirl in my head, a constant reminder of my guilt and regret.

Flashback to when he was 12 

I woke up to the sound of shattering glass. My window was broken, and I looked up to see a tall guy with tattoos looming over me. Before I could react, he grabbed me and covered my face with something. I tried to struggle, kicking my legs and trying to break free, but his grip was too strong.

I heard footsteps running down the hall, hoping it was my older brother coming to save me. But when the door opened, it was my twin brother Xavier. No, please, don't let him see me like this. I didn't want him to be dragged into this, to be taken too. But it was too late. By the time he rushed in, the chemical on my nose was already taking effect. I felt myself weakening, my body going limp.