Poetry

M.O.T.H.E.R.

She grew up with an empty feelings
Because she never knew who she was.

She always hid her true emotions and intentions from the people she cared for because she grew up with a mother who always shut her out and made her feel like if they knew the truth about her they would just push her like her mother did her.

Her mother made her feel like she was a burden.

Like she never mattered, never care, never had any type of positive emotions for her.

The daughter started to feel like mother never really loved her to begin with

Daughter would try to do her best to get good grades in school, but mother never knew the effect of her shutting her out made daughter never ask for help no matter what her problem was. Daughter would tell herself "I don't want to bother them, maybe I could do it on my own" the daughter would think to herself. So daughter developed the fear of rejection and abandonment.

The kids at school bullied her every day and made her feel stupid "you're so dumb/stupid" so when ever there was a test or quiz and there was a question the daughter didn't know, she would try so hard to see if she could figure it out and when she did try to ask for help she would always get picked on or see the frustration on her teachers face and would feel regret because she asked for help. She would then feel worse when she would look next to her seeing her friend near done with their assignment saying it was easy for them. She tried to ask the other daughters for help but they had their work to worry about and ignored her or pushed her away since they were older than her.

The daughter bagan to wish her brain was normal like all the other kids to were she could understand what was being taught to her and to were she felt like all the other kids. Normal. To were she could finally make her mother happy seeing that the unique kid could do anything and everything a normal kid could do. She would see the 2nd oldest daughter passing her math test and seeing mother congratulate the daughter.

But even if that did happen, mother would never acknowledge the daughter's success. Daughter soon felt like no matter what she did not matter how hard she tried to make her mother happy, she just...couldn't seem to do just that

Daughter would try to help around the house whether it was cleaning, cooking mother food, getting things for her, anything her mother wanted, just to see her mother smile knowing that was because she did a good thing for her, would make the daughter feel like she finally did something right.

But thing wouldn't go as the daughter planned. "Move Keara, you're just in the way!" Or "Just get out the kitchen Keara!" Made the daughter feel like she could never do anything right.

One day, the 3 daughter's were cleaning, all trying to win mother's love or happiness.

Daughter tried to find something to clean but only made the other daughters upset telling her "Just go sit down somewhere Keara at this point"

Once the daughter sat down she would look at the mother and she saw her giggling and laughing at what happened.

The daughter felt bad at first because they thought she was doing it to get out of chores until she heard the mother's laughter. The daughter thought "Maybe if find a way to get out of chores I could make mother laugh more"

It worked for a few years until the daughter was actually getting in the way and became a bad habit. She began to realize it and tried to break it but it would always make everything worse. Soon mother stopped laughing at the situation and became upset along with the other daughters.

So the youngest daughter would try to cook but she would end up burning the food or it didn't taste good. This made the daughter upset and frustrated. This went on for years.