Written Mine on my Upper Thigh

010

We're all curled up on the sofa in our pyjamas as Cara scrolls through movies on the massive 70-inch TV. Everyone has a pile of varying snacks in front of them and a glass of rich red wine which Taylor ordered from room service because apparently the ones in the mini-fridge in the suite are "for the jacuzzi". Cara stops on 'Valentines Day' and starts grinning. 

"Hey, Taylor lets watch Valentines Day," she laughs

"shut up," Taylor giggles shooting her middle finger up in Cara's direction. 

"Ok seriously though what should we watch?" Cara asks as she resumes her scrolling.

"Wait guys let's watch Carol" Gigi suggests as Cara scrolls back to it. "It's Christmassy and it's December," 

"Fuck yea," Cara exclaims.

"We all know it's cause you wanna watch the gay sex, Cara" Taylor laughs playfully 

"and what's wrong with that?" Cara retorts grinning and raising an eyebrow, "Is there a problem with gay sex? Are you homophobic, Tay?" 

"No! I'm literally-" she retorts just as playfully before stopping herself glancing at me and taking a sip from her wine but still smiling that impish smile of hers. "Alright huddle up!" she announces sinking further into the couch, making herself comfortable. 

I'm immediately regretting not bringing a throw blanket from my room down, it was stupid to assume the fire and my fluffy pyjama pants would be warm enough. I pull my knees up to my chest and cross my ankles in an attempt to stay warm, I can't be bothered getting up now it's too comfortable. Not even a few moments later Taylor lifts the edge of her blanket and scoots closer to me.

"Here, get in," she whispers. I drop my legs back onto the sofa as Taylor pulls the blanket over my legs.

"thank you," I whisper 

"Of course, is that enough? do you need more on your side?"

"no, its ok, thanks Taylor," 

She smiles before turning back to the tv. I pick up a few m&ms as I watch Carol look sultrily at Therese while she plays the piano. Unfathomable electrical chemistry. It's like we're holding our breath the same way Therese is.

"What I would give for Cate Blanchett to look at me like that," Cara exclaims with a sigh

"What I would give for any women to look at me like that" I state which earns a quick, almost stunned glance from Taylor. "but Cate Blanchett is fucking hot," I add as Cara reaches over Taylor to give me a fist bump which I accept.

 I love how comfortable Cara is in being gay. It's not like I hate myself for feeling attraction to women or hate that I simply have never and probably will never feel any attraction to men. But sometimes I feel like my experiences with or marvel at women is not as fitting as hetero experiences so I refrain from contributing to conversations even if I have relevant input hence why I admire Cara's ability to do so so easily. By the time my brain stops bullshitting in circles about comphet and being comfortably sapphic, Carol and Therese are in the hotel room and Therese is brushing her hair. Of course this is the moment my brain decides to refocus on the movie, despite the comphet I'm clearly gay. They're about to kiss and I feel Taylor's hand slide onto my thigh gripping it slightly over the blanket. Confusion floods my mind as I tear my eyes away from the screen to glance at Taylor whose eyes are practically glued to the screen. Either she doesn't realise or she knows and is choosing to pay it no mind or it's not a big deal and I'm reading into things. 

"About fucking time!" Cara yells as Therese asks Carol to take her to bed. Taylor smiles in response her hand still resting unnoticed, by everyone likely including herself, on my thigh.