'Moonlight'

5

I should be happy, ecstatic even, at what Lori told me this morning. But I'm not. I'm the complete opposite.

A soft spot?! That's the most ridiculous lie i've heard in my life. Stevie, who i've only known for one day, certainly doesn't have a supposed soft spot for me.

I storm past the living room, not even noticing or caring who's in there. I reach my bedroom, slamming my door shut. I hear Lori's muffled voice downstairs. She sounds anxious, almost angry. So she should be, triggering me like that; telling me someone else's feelings about me when i could easily hear it for myself?

I open my journal, grabbing a pen and start writing straight away. I'm so upset i accidentally tear a hole through the page with my angry scribbles, but writing is the only way to get this sort of shit off my chest, so i don't care.

Only a few minutes later, someone knocks on the door, and i automatically slam my journal shut.

"Yeah?" I say, trying to stop my voice shaking. I get up from my desk, wiping my eyes quickly.

Then I wish I'd just stayed sitting down as Stevie opens the door.

"Hey," she says, that adorable smile appearing. I want to smile back, but somehow i can't. Hopefully my blank facial expression will have to suffice.

"You okay?" she asks, frowning a little. I shake my head, snapping out of my trance.

"Uh, yeah. i'm fine," I mutter. "why, what's up?"

Stevie glances at the floor briefly, trying to look anywhere except at me. "I just wanted to talk to you,"

My stomach twists into knots. "Okay,"

She steps inside slowly, just like she did last night. I take a few steps back, sitting down on my bed. She sits down beside me, twisting one of her rings anxiously. I shift away slightly, trying to stop my knee nudging hers.

"I want to make sure that you're definitely okay," she says, slowly. "Maybe it's just me, but you still seem slightly on edge about being here. I understand, really."

"Honestly, i'm fine. This is just how i am-" I start, but Stevie shakes her head.

"I've noticed things about you, Pierre. This isn't how you are usually." she replies, calmly.

I look up at her briefly. She's gazing right at me with those big brown eyes of hers, watching me intently.

Butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"Oh." is all i can think to say.

"Just try to think about all of this, okay?" Stevie smiles as she stands up. Her fingers graze my hand as she does. "I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me."

"I'm fine, honestly i am." I say, again.

"I know, but i just want what's best for you." she says, quietly. And again, she's gone. It's like she was never here, except for that fluttering feeling in my chest.

Why are these conversations so abrupt? It's almost as if she thinks she's said too much and tries to end the conversation. Maybe that's just how Stevie is when she talks to people. Or new people, anyway. i don't see her running away from Sharon or Lori mid-sentence.

I open my journal again, ripping out the last few pages i've been writing on. It's stupid really, that i jumped to the worst conclusions straight away. How does Lori know how Stevie feels about me? Exactly, she doesn't. So i shouldn't take anything she says about Stevie too personally.

Stevie is her own person, i know she wouldn't let anyone else speak her thoughts or feelings for her. And she's just a mother figure to me. Right?..

I sigh, closing my journal again. Why am i like this? Why can't i just leave things as they are, without having to put my thoughts into it? I've never been able to 'just leave things', really. I guess it's just an unfortunate trait i've got.

I sit at my desk, staring at the ceiling for what feels like 5 minutes but is really about 2 hours.

After a while I get up from my chair, listening to the faint sound of the piano downstairs for a few moments. I try to forget the conversation me and Lori had this morning, try to forget anything i was worried about.

Then i hear her. Stevie, singing. I jump up from my desk, wrenching my door open and running downstairs to see her. I hesitate outside the living room, watching through the crack in the door.

Lori and Sharon are sitting by the piano too, just listening. I don't recognise the song that she's singing, though. It seems to be some sort of love ballad, about a lover that will never know about Stevie's feelings. However, Stevie is unsure of her feelings too, as the song progresses she sings about 'not knowing if this is the true path to follow'.

The song finishes as Lori and Sharon clap enthusiastically.

"It's lovely, Stevie," Lori gushes. "when did you write it?"

"Just last night," Stevie replies, smiling a little.

"What's the inspiration behind it?"

Stevie pauses for a second, "Inspiration?"

"The song," Lori prompts. "Whats happened so recently that gave you song writing inspiration?"

"It's someone that i've.. connected with recently," Stevie says, quickly. "but that's a long story for another night."

She gets up from the piano, hugging Lori and Sharon goodnight. I'm too distracted watching them all to realise she's walking right towards the door. I make it halfway up the stairs, but she sees me.

"You okay, Pierre?"

I turn around slowly. "Mhm, i'm fine."

Stevie raises an eyebrow, making me smile a little. "Are you sure?"

"I just wanted to hear you playing piano," i say, shrugging.

"That's alright, love. But you should be asleep, you need your rest." Stevie smiles. "Goodnight."

"Night,"

I take the rest of the stairs 2 at once, trying not to slam my door as i rush up to my bedroom and dive onto my bed.

I don't bother getting changed, im wearing comfy clothes anyway. I'm so happy that Stevie is my person, that Stevie is my mother figure. I'm so happy.