Everything I Wasn't

Four

Serendipity: N| Finding something good without looking for it

First Person POV; Regulus Black:

I sit at the Slytherin table with my head in my hand. It's been two years since the sorting, two years since I've last spoken to Kamari. Of course I say hello in the hallway, but my voice is weak from lack of talking. It sounds forced.

Sirius and I don't ever talk much anymore, mother prohibits it. I grew closer to a few in my house, like Barty, Evan, Casius, they don't care as much about blood supremacy as they show. Then I have Lucius, Bellatrix, and Narcissa as baby sitters. Mother stuck them on me to make sure I don't do anything dumb, like talk to a blood traitor or half blood.

I sigh as I open my eyes, looking for Kamari. I find her. She was sitting at the edge of the table closest to the door, surrounded by the ghosts. She always seemed to be sitting with them, no matter the occasion.

The last two years she's seemed distant, like she's not even there. She has two purple moons constantly etched under her eyes, probably from a lack of sleep. She's stopped participating in class, and I know she's been staying up by the fire reading.

I watch as her eyes glaze over, lost in a thought. "You're staring again Reg." Barty warns me, if Bellatrix caught me so caught up in her I'd return from school after the holidays covered in scratches and bruises under my jumper.

I sigh again shaking my head, my curls falling over my eyes slightly. I watch as her brother and his friends noisily make their way over to her and I wonder how she doesn't see them.

I've had enough, I watch my brother laugh all happily with his friends and Kamari, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness.

I stand up and I walk across the hall, the sorting is over and Dumbledore has finished his speech. "A penny for your thoughts?" Remus asks Kamari, finally snapping her out of her daze.

"And a nickel to keep them to yourself." I scowl, that's really the best thing I could come up with? She looks at me, her soft brown eyes inspecting me. She had lost her baby fat in second year, making her look even more gorgeous. Not that she wasn't before.

"Sirius, I need to speak to you." He stands up with a grin as we walk away. I don't need to speak to him but after what I said earlier I needed an excuse to come over to their table.

"What's up Reggie?" He asks using the nickname he gave me when we were little. "I need your help on something." I say my voice cold, even I don't know where this conversation is going to go, I'm just allowing the words to fall from my mouth.

"Shoot, is someone picking on you or do you need help in your classes. Or is it a girl!" At that Sirius squeals like one. "Yes actually." I admit sheepishly. What am I thinking?

"Who is it? Is it Pandora?" He starts bombarding me with questions as we finally make it into the hallway. "It's Kamari." Sirius stops, and I bite the inside of my cheek, what the hell?

"Kamari. As in Kamari Lupin? Baby Moon?" Sirius starts babbling off a list of nicknames for her. "Yes." My voice is strained, there is no way. I don't fancy her, I just said a name. I needed something to talk to Sirius about so I don't seem crazy.

Right?

"Shes like my baby sister, Reggie. And if you two started snogging that would be like incest." I can't help but close my eyes and let out a small laugh. Sirius does an over exaggerated gag.

"But! You're in luck, because our family doesn't seem to care too much about that!" Sirius grins. I laugh again. "What do you need me to do?" He finishes putting his hands on his hips.

I didn't know what I needed him to do. I don't fancy her. "Just say something good about me, drop a story or two from when we were kids. Not, the sink story though!" I bite my cheek again, what was I doing. I don't fancy her and if she starts to fancy me that's trouble.

"Deal." Sirius holds out a hand and I shake it.

"Deal." I echo back.