It's been a week Mattheo and i have been living with Theos grandmother, she's really nice and all but i don't really wanna stay here anymore, i wanna get further in life, not being stuck, but even how many times i tell myself i need to go get my shit together i can't, i end up crying in my bed.
At the moment life just sucks i feel sad all the time and don't wanna get out of bed, it's hard. Mattheo tries to help but i can't even do small tasks like brush my hair or stuff, Mattheo does it for me, he does everything, he picks out clothes, bring me food help me shower, make me smile abit when i feel down.
But how can i not feel down, my bestfriend, dad and kid died, i feel lost, i don't know what to do about myself, how to move on, but i can't and i'm going fucking crazy i wanna scream i wanna cry all the time.
'YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH YOU CAN'T DO IT IT'S YOUR FAULT!' Those thought fill my head, and i belive them, i know they're right, they control me.
I scream. But not really i don't. In my head i do in my head i tell the voices to SHUT THE FUCK UP!
But when it comes to the end, the voices don't listen.
I think i'm going insane, the memories, nightmare, flashbacks. It all wanna make me leave make me forget, i don't wanna feel like this anymore, i wanna be the old me, the girl that had fun with her friends, laughed, was at parties, got detentions, i wanna go back to the time i was happy, the time all my friends was together, but i can't change the past, i can't change what happened. I can only learn to live with it.
Even if i don't want to i have to, i can't leave Mattheo.
Not after all that happened.
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Short chapter sorry for not posting alot have happened i will try to post more often
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The sad love story
FanfictionY/n Black is a 17 year old girl who goes on hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Her best friend is Pansy Parkinson. Her father is Sirius black, (He's not dead in this story) Sirius kicked Y/n's mum out two years ago cause he found out that s...
