SMG34 Incorrect Quotes

3

SMG3: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one.

***

SMG4: Can you cut me some slack, SMG3? I'm sort of in love.

SMG3: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.

SMG4: I'm in love with you.

SMG3: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

***

SMG3: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

SMG4: I wrote you a poem.

SMG3, already crying: You did?

***

SMG4: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, SMG3!

SMG3: You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

***

SMG3: I fell—

SMG4: From heaven?

SMG3: No, I literally fell—

SMG4: In love with me the moment you saw me?

SMG3: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

SMG4: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

***

SMG3 walking into the kitchen and seeing all his limes peeled: SMG4, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

SMG4, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

***

*SMG3 comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in SMG4's bedroom.*

SMG4: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?

SMG3: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a boyfriend.

SMG3: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*

SMG4: ...

***

SMG3: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-

SMG4: *blushes* What are your thoughts?

SMG3: The fourth sentence-

SMG4: Yeah, that's where I got really emotional and I-

SMG3: It's "you're" not "your".

***

SMG4: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

SMG3: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

SMG4: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

SMG3: Is it working?

***

SMG4: Babe, you're so funny!

SMG3: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you.

SMG4: Awwww, that's sweet of you!

***

SMG4: My hands are cold.

SMG3: Here, let me hold them.

SMG4: My lips are cold too.

SMG3: *covers SMG4's mouth with their hand*

***

SMG4: Okay, but if your not gay then why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I'm your boyfriend?

SMG3: Dude- Its satire!

SMG4: THAT'S NOT WHAT SATIRE MEANS!

***

SMG3: Do you want to know your gay name?

SMG4: My... my gay name?

SMG3: Yeah, it's your first name-

SMG4: Haha. Very funny SMG3-

SMG3: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.

SMG4: Oh- oh my god.

***

SMG3: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.

SMG4: Are you a software update? because not right now.

***

SMG4: We should be partners.

SMG3: You mean like, partners in crime?

SMG4: Yeah... that's precisely what I meant.

***

SMG4: Hey, SMG3, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

SMG3: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

SMG4: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

SMG3: Can't really say I have.

SMG4: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

SMG3: Sorry, SMG4. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

***

SMG3: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake?

SMG4: Aww-

SMG3: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!