A Fresh Start

Chapter 9: Thoughts

Pink POV:

I wish I was making this up right now.

Oh how my life is spiraling out of control. First, I die, then I wake up as Fresh. Lastly, I find out that Fresh has a stalker and a romantic partner. UGH!

I know for a fact that these feelings that I am feeling aren't mine. It's as if I am merging with Fresh and I have been getting some of his memories. This is frustrating me because I don't actually love Mara like Fresh does. I don't have any feelings towards Fresh's friends or his brothers. Everybody is a stranger to me.

I feel as if I am being used and I am afraid that I will lose myself and become a pawn in this story. 

I don't want to die again either, since this story is based on Romeo and Juliet, you know how that story ends. I don't want to die and be afraid to be reincarnated again and be used. Or have the possibility that I go back to my world and maybe wake up from a comma. 

I don't want to go back to my world because I am starting to lose my memories from my past life. I would have to play the amnesia card again and I wouldn't know who to trust. 

I almost feel as if Poppy doesn't care for my feelings since they are always telling me what Fresh does, what Fresh likes, what Fresh doesn't like, etc. I already do things differently from what Fresh does and Poppy is afraid that the others would start to question.

The thing is, most of the things Fresh likes or does is the opposite from what I like to do. I like chocolate, but I prefer strawberry. Fresh would prefer chocolate. 

Fresh likes to go out and party with friends. I like to stay inside and watch movies or shows.

Fresh doesn't like reading. I like reading.

Fresh likes to be adventurous and would look for any excuse to go on an adventure. While I don't like adventuring and would rather just stay at home.

Fresh likes to sneak out at night and cause. playful trouble, like pranking. I would rather stay home and not cause any trouble.

Fresh is an extravert while I am an introvert. 

We have more things different than similar. I don't know why Poppy chooses me to be Fresh or Pink. I don't know why they are pushing me to be someone I am not. I never asked for this.

I never asked for this. I never asked for this.

Also, Era, thinks I am getting 'my' memories back and feelings back, which is a load of bullshit. I am just playing along because I don't want them to kick me our or something. I don't want to become homeless and have the whole multiverse hate me. Even though I hate to deceive them, I don't want anything bad to happen to me.

I should have just never gone to that party. I wouldn't be in this mess if I did. The one time I actually want to go out to a party is the time I die and get stuck into this mess. If I remember correctly, I believe it was my sister's baby shower or something related to my sister. 

I miss my family. I miss my sister. I miss my old life. 

I also don't know how to feel when they all call me a guy. I was a girl in my past life. I loved dressing up in dresses and being referred to as a girl. Now, I have to act as if I am okay with being called a guy. In the beginning I didn't care, but now it's starting to annoy me.

Poppy told me that it would be weird if I, or Fresh, would wake up with amnesia and be like "Hey I want to be a girl" when he was always a guy and loved being a guy.

I feel that it is unfair for me to put up with it, but whatever. I don't want Poppy to get mad and I don't want the others to question who I really am. So, I guess I have to put up with it, whether I like it or not.

I noticed as the months pass, my glasses have been just dots. Most of the time the other alternatives would ask me why and other versions of myself. I would lie and say I was thinking about something, even though at the moment I wasn't even thinking that deep. 

I can see that my colors on my clothing sometimes dims too. It gets me nervous because I don't want anyone to find out I am not Fresh.

Poppy still bugs me and is starting to annoy me. I sometimes think to myself to just throw Poppy in another multiverse and hope they don't come back.

I want to lock myself in my room.

I want to lock myself from the multiverse.

I want out.

I want out.

I want out. I HATE this!

I WANT MY FREEDOM BACK!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What would Pink do?

I wanted to give my character more, I guess, depth? I wanted to make her feel as if she is being forced to do something she had no consent for, which is what happened. I am mean, how would anyone feel about being forced to be someone totally opposite or just someone else in general? They would feel upset, sad, confused, angry, etc. 

Sorry for not posting in a while. I have no idea where to take this story and I wanted a little break from it to come up with ideas on where to go.

I also forget about this book, lol. 

See you later!

<3