Mrs. Dawkins (The Artful Dodger) [TBS]

Part 17

I picked out a pretty dress and brushed my hair, I gave myself a good perfume spritz before I left my room and headed downstairs but I was caught at the kitchen door.

"Something you wanted Miss Everset?" Miss Hardcastle asked helping the maid clean from dinner,

"Ohh, I was just going for a walk in the garden, before I settled myself to bed."

"In the dark?"

"I fancied a moonlit stroll."

"Alright, just don't be too late."

"I won't!" I smiled as I bolted out the door and headed into the garden, I held my dress above the grass as I walked as fast as I could without drawing suspicion back to the sweet stone bench from last night, under the orange tree, the little bench like last night bathed in a sweet white grey ray of moonlight. I thought of last night and felt giddy with excitement to see him again, to have his hand grace my own, to have our lips entwined once more, to speak with him about our plans, our future, a life we were to build.

I went and perched myself where I had yesterday, Plucking an orange as I sat for a moment I tossed it back and forth between my hands. Every second felt like an hour of wait, I counted the stars in the sky, the leaves in the tree, the flowers of the garden, and my own heartbeats that got slower and slower as my excitement turned to solo fear while I waited, but he didn't come and each time I looked and saw no sign of him my heart sank a little lower until it was firm in my feet.

Perhaps he has forgotten about me?

Perhaps last night was merely a trick of the moon and wine and once home he realized his foolishness?

Perhaps all of this was merely a joke at my innocent expense?

Perhaps, he was not coming?

Perhaps I had merely been foolish to believe him?

I sighed and rolled my orange away across the grass, I knew I would have to go back inside or else people would come looking for me.

My heart felt so utterly broken, my heart felt weak and frail, I felt so stupid, tears welled up in my eyes, and my hands shook, my breaths unsteady and sharp.

I waited longer than I should have, all in hope but as the hours ticked by he never arrived.

To think I had told my father of him, I had risked Miss Hardcastle telling my father for him, I had let him kiss me, I had let him touch my hand, let him break so many rules with me all of which if word ever escaped this place my reputation would forever be broken.

I was so, so willing... so happy, so blindly in love that ... I'd have given him everything.

I'd have committed here and now to him forever, I'd begun to build a life in my mind with him, I'd have sworn myself to him this night if he had asked it, I'd have packed my things and followed him away to a world unknown if he had asked it of me.

I'd have made him my world.

But he didn't come for me.

I wiped my tears and stood, I fixed my dress and started on the walk inside.

I kept turning back in the hope that he'd be there just catching me before I go but... I went in and up to my room.

I lay on my bed fighting back the tears taking his note and re-reading it making sure I was not been at fault but no.

Our bench, as the sun sets.

He hadn't come.

"I trusted you..." I began to cry, "Where are you, Jack?"