Keira Walshs POV:
It was very tense in what was once our shared living room, Lucy on one side of the room, and Lily and I on the other. The first thing I noticed was the empty bottle of wine on the glass table in the centre of the room, but other than that there was no evidence to show that Lucy had been drinking, except her taking paracetamol previously in the day. Lily was glued to my side, frightened of upsetting Lucy more. It wasnt fair that she was having to go through all of this at such a young age. 'Lil why dont you go upstairs so your mum and i can talk?' I whisper to her, not wanting her to have to listen to any more of this, its not her mess to fix. 'You sure?' She asks me, grabbing hold of my hand. 'Positive.' I smile back to her, and then give her a quick hug. She smiles at me, but before she goes upstairs, she walks over to where Lucy is sat. 'Im sorry, i dont want to make you feel guilty or make this any harder than it already is for you. Can you forgive me?' She asks her mum, who is looking at her with sorrowful eyes. 'Oh come here.' She whispers, before pulling her daughter into a tight hug. 'I shouldn't have snapped at you, im the one who needs to apologise. Im the parent Lil, im supposed to protect you from all of this.' She guiltily whispers, wrapping her arms tighter around Lily if that was even possible. 'Mum dont be silly, its okay.' Lucy then pulled away from her and wiped a tear from her eye, and plastered a smile on her face. 'Go wait in your room alright? We'll talk later i promise.' She tells Lily, and Lily nods and looks at us both one last time before exiting the living room. This wasnt going to be fun.
It was as if two strangers were sat in a room together, and it made me feel incredibly uneasy. I hated this so much. So so much. Deciding i had had enough of dancing around the problem, i made the bold decision to go and sit next to Lucy, and place a hand on her back. She turned her head towards me, and her eyes were filled with so much pain it was unbearable to look at. But i had to be strong, for her. It was evident she was majorly struggling, and despite us not being together anymore i would do everything in my power to help her. 'Im sorry Kei.' She whispers to me, more tears rolling down her cheeks. 'Dont apologise Lucy, its okay. All i care about right now is helping you.' I reassure her, rubbing my hand gently up and down her back. 'I dont know why.. why i keep on going back to it. Its the last thing i want to do, but i always find myself going back to it.' She confesses, putting her head in her hands. 'Its because it comforts you. Despite how much you hate it it makes you forget everything you want to forget. It just.. numbs everything.' I tell her hesitantly, slightly zoning out towards the end of my sentence as i just stare at the empty bottle of the substance, or was it staring at me? Whichever way around it was it made me uneasy, knowing it was just controlling Lucys life once again. She must've noticed me staring at it, as she got up and walked towards it, then took it out to the kitchen. I felt guilty, it wasnt my intention to make her feel embarrassed by it, especially infront of me. 'Sorry...' i whisper, a bit ashamed of making her feel worse about the situation. 'No, dont be. Im the one who should be apologising.' She replies, shaking her head at me. 'Lucy, i want to help you. This isn't healthy, i don't want you to end up ill because of it.' I say, standing up and holding her hands. 'Its not on you to help me anymore Keira...' she mumbles, looking down. I take a deep breath before replying. 'Maybe so, but i want to help you. Not just for your sake, but for your daughters sake.' I continue, telling her the harsh reality of the situation. 'Our.' She just says, leaving me confused. 'What?' I reply, slightly dumbfounded. 'Our daughter. Im not her only parent.' She says, as if its the most obvious thing in the world. Ofcourse i viewed Lily as one of my own, i just didnt want to overstep any boundaries, i guess i didnt really know my place anymore. 'But theres no 'our' anymore.' I say, my voice beginning to break. I can feel the tears burning the back of my eyes, and i forcefully blink them away. It pained me to think about everything we had been through. I thought we were forever, I thought i had found my person, the person who i wanted to marry. Its funny how the universe does that to you. Rips away your happiness as if a carrot had been dangled infront of you then is ripped away suddenly, with no warning. 'I really loved you Lucy.' I whisper, finally letting the barrier down. Her eyes flashes a painful look, and she sighed before hesitantly asking 'Loved?' Ofcourse i still loved her, it's impossible for someone to lose feelings that quickly, especially if they were as intense as my love is for her. 'You know Lucy.' I say, admiring her for a second. 'What are we doing K?' She asks me, her voice fueled by anguish. I wish i had an answer for her, because to be quite frank i had no clue what we were doing. 'I dont know.'
Lily Bronzes POV:
Standing behind the door of the living room, I was quite taken back from what i was hearing. Did they regret splitting up? Did they want to get back together? A million thoughts raced through my head at a 100mph and it was overwhelming me, causing my breathing to accelerate. Why did the worst things happen to the kindest people.
Things where so different this time last year. My parents where the happiest they have ever been. Having just won the Euros, to signing for Barcelona, it was just getting better and better. I couldnt pin point what went wrong or when it went wrong, things just changed so suddenly that i didnt really have time to think about it. Id do anything, and i mean anything to go back to the summer of 22. Life was just so, easy? Everything was going to plan, it felt like we were on top of the world.
Then we werent.
My mum and Keira began to pick fights with one another, over silly things. Like who would walk Narla, who would cook dinner, who would drive to training, and then it started to become more than that. Id wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink or go to the bathroom, and find Keira asleep or crying on the sofa. Nights when i found her upset, id sit with her until she fell back asleep, and not a word was spoken about it the next morning. I think she was slightly embarrassed, but also more upset over the fact Lucy hadn't noticed.
But little did she know my mum was feeling the exact same.
One night, i went up to mums room to tell her Keira was upset, but when I opened the door I heard her quiet sniffles underneath the duvet. I climbed into bed next to her, and just let her cry into my shoulder. It felt wrong to tell her Keira was upset when she was just equally as unhappy. So again, i didnt mention a word of it to either of them, and prayed it would get better soon. I think that was the first time alarms rung in my brain about them having issues, but I didn't want to believe it. I couldnt believe it. But i guess the world works in mysterious ways.
I was debating whether or not i should just run into the living room and beg them to work things out. It was a selfish thought, but if im being honest its all i wanted to do. I refrained myself from doing so, and simply slid against the wall next to the door, and just listened to their conversation.
'What are we doing K?' My mum says, causing me to hold my breath.
'I dont know.'
Oh my god.
Authors note:
- guys.... im sorry for not updating sooner😭 honestly i was just so busy, but i forced myself to write something. its not much, nor is it that great, but its something😭😭 hope your all well, lots of love xx
