Forbidden Desire | J.JK

18

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I just want to die.

I had been deceived by the man I loved, the man I had shared my life with for so long. He had hidden his true nature from me, a nature so dark and twisted that it chilled my blood. How far would Jimin go to get me back?

I had found out the answer the hard way, when he had forced me to chose between putting Jungkook into danger or saving him. Unless he got what he wanted, Jungkook and I would never live a peaceful life together. I would always have this deep worry inside me, asking myself, when Jimin would attack Jungkook.

He had given me an ultimatum: either I would leave Jungkook and marry him instead, or I would watch Jimin destroy Jungkook's life.

I wished he had just lost his temper and screamed at me, like he had done so many times before. I could have handled it, I was used to it. I wished he would have taken his anger out on me, instead of projecting it to Jungkook. Anything would have been better than this cruel game he was playing with me. How could I choose and how could I live with my decision, no matter which way I choose?

I inhale deeply, feeling my chest rise and fall with tremors. My heart is pounding in my ears, as if trying to escape the horror. I raise my hand to knock on Jugyeong's door, hoping she won't notice my distress.

The door swings open, revealing her smiling face. "Alexa?" She exclaims, her eyes widening in surprise. "You're back so soon? What happened?"

I force a weak smile and shake my head. "It's nothing," I lie, stepping past her into the apartment.

"Alexa," a familiar voice calls out from the hall. I turn and see Jungkook, his handsome features etched with concern. He rushes towards me, his eyes scanning me for any signs of injury. But he doesn't know that the wounds Jimin inflicted on me are not visible on the surface. He doesn't know that Jimin broke my heart in the worst way possible. By taking away my last chance of happiness.

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me close to his chest. I stiffen, feeling a surge of guilt and confusion.

He whispers in my ear, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

I close my eyes, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill. How I wish I could tell him the truth.

I feel his arms tighten around me, holding me close to his chest. His warmth and scent fill my senses, making my heart ache with longing. I wish I could stay like this forever, but I know I can't. He doesn't deserve to have a relationship like this. He deserves someone who can love him back without any hesitation or guilt. He deserves a relationship where he doesn't have to fear for his own safety.

I gently push him away, breaking the embrace that feels like heaven and hell at the same time. He looks at me with his big, beautiful eyes, full of concern and confusion. His eyes search mine, trying to decipher the meaning behind my sudden withdrawal.

I force a smile on my face, trying to hide the pain that threatens to spill over. "I'm fine," I say, hoping he'll believe me. "Jimin was good to me actually."

His expression changes instantly, from worry to doubt and disbelief. He knows how Jimin treated me better than anyone else.

"Yes, he was good to me. And you know what? It felt like we were back in time, when we first fell in love," I say, my voice breaking. I avert my gaze, unable to bear the sight of his wounded expression. I scan the room, looking for an escape, a distraction, anything to avoid the inevitable confrontation.