𝑵𝑰𝑲𝑶𝑳𝑨 𝑷𝑶𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹 ⭑ 𝑫𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑶 𝑴𝑨𝑳𝑭𝑶𝒀

NINE: Confessions

We walked into Lupin's office, planning to thank him for his lessons, but as we peer in Lupin was stood over some suitcases, filling it with the last of his books. We frown confused, staring at the empty room.

"Hello, you two," he says before he even turns to see us. "Saw you coming," he whispered, tapping his wand on The Marauder's Map lying open on the desk.

"You've been sacked?" I asked, with a frown.

"No. Resigned, actually," Lupin corrected, closing the slaps on his final case. I frown stronger then, Harry stepping forward concerned.

"Resigned! But why?" he asked.

"It seems that someone has let slip the nature of my condition," he explained, hinting at the marks across his face from the terrible night beforehand. "It was bound to get out. This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving. Parents will not want a.. well, you know, teaching their children." We nodded, understandably but still devastated with this news. I didn't like many of the Hogwarts teachers much, but I must admit I'd grown rather fond of Lupin. "But before I go, tell me about your Patrons." He turned to me. I glanced at Harry, feeling slightly bad. Though I didn't know exactly what for.

"A stag, sir," I explained, and a grin grew across Lupin's face.

"Ah yes. Your father used to transform into one. That's how he was able to keep me company on full moons. He was a great friend James." Lupin turns to lift his cases still smiling at the memory.

"Harry managed too as well, you know. Out on the lake with the dementors that night," I explained. He nodded proudly at Harry.

"You'll have a stag as your patronus to Harry, twins often share patronuses," he noted, then turned back to us. Though I noticed he stared at me most of the time when adding this part. "Sometimes the most urgent overwhelming times cause us to perform spells we didn't know we could cast. Though, don't get too caught up in the feelings, I must warn. If you did I believe Harry would have killed Sirius that night," he said, and we laughed slightly nodding. He began to move towards the door, but there was one more thing I wanted to ask him.

"Sir," I called, and he turned to me. "Why is it.. that the patronus affects me the way it does. The day in your office and back down at the lake." His grin dropped then, and he stopped towards me closely, thinking about his answer before he responded.

"I believe, Miss Potter - and don't tell Dumbledore I told you this, he believes it safer to keep you in the dark - that you hold a certain.. darkness within you. A darkness Harry does not share with you," his voice was low, as if not risking the chance of someone hearing. I didn't know exactly what he meant, and I felt Harry give me concerned frown. I didn't meet his eyes, only kept my gaze curiously at Lupin. "I won't ask, for I have a small suspicion already. But whoever your patronus memory involves, there's much more there than you have even come to realise yourself. In fact, there's so little I think you know about yourself at all. But I'm sure that you will become aware of in the rest of your years at Hogwarts." He turned away, lifting his case again. I wanted to ask him so many more questions, but I held off, allowing him to exit the room and disappear into the corridor, leaving me and Harry with our thoughts and wanders in the empty classroom.

"It's Malfoy, isn't it?" Harry said, and I turned to meet his gaze now. I couldn't tell by his expression whether this made him mad, he kept his eyes blank. I shrugged at him and sighed. I wasn't sure why, but I felt a guilty need to explain.

"It was the only thing I could think of at the time, that gave me the strongest emotion. I mean, I don't feel things as strongly as you do, Harry. Hell, I feel mostly numb to a lot of things. Perhaps that's why I feel the need to follow you into danger each year. And the memories and emotions with Draco aren't all good, I mean, there's a disappointment. There's also hate, and anger, lots of anger. And-"