The Delusional Psycho | KTH ✔

20

It's been two days since that freak took me on that so called date...it was peaceful but what left me miserable was the words he said that day 'You stole my heart, Elara!"

That was obviously so cliché and cringe when he said that. I'm used to all that beating and tossing around and I pray it remain that way for the time being. And the fact that he doesn't even know my name? The insult...🤌

Is he delusional? Bipolar? Sometimes he is nice and sometimes he is in the mood of killing and scaring. I'm again free to roam around the house. He usually spend most of his time outside and when he comes home, I'm in my room already.

Did I call this place home? Oh shut it I didn't! Yesterday I peaked in his mobile when it was on the dining room. It's January already??" I was so shocked. It's so freezing here whatever this place is.

I want to get out of here for god sake. It's so hard breathing in this room everyday, no connection with the world outside. I miss Ria. She used to say she will never let an inch hurt me but here I am with a tons of scars on my already scrap body.

Nobody is truthful.

Jungkook said he will rescue me that day...

Ria said she will be a mother figure to me always.

Brother...said...he will always be my shadow...

Tears of desperation leak out as I curl up in the mattress and let out an ugly sob which was suppressed in me. I cry my heart out that was bleeding with the amount of pain I've endured. Soon the sobs turned into hiccups and shoutings as I fist the pillow again and again.

I felt something on my shoulder but I was so into crying that I didn't notice it. Suddenly I was pulled into an embrace that felt so warm and safe as I break down even more and clutched onto it for dear life. My face soaking into the warm sheets of bliss.

My hands desperately grab onto the source as I take my time into crying in this moment of safety. No one to judge me, no one to laugh at me so I break down, break down to my hearts content and the embrace tightened around me making everything in my mind blank out.

I felt so lightheaded and dizzy from the scent of acceptance. My heart already broke the walls it built so far and everything started to fade away. Nothing was making sense but the embrace I'm in. Finally I felt accepted as I am.

After sometimes, everything died down and the sounds of wind clattering the window was more loud but it doesn't felt annoying. The silence was all I wanted. I open my wet lashes and look up.

I was met by the only eyes I feared, the eyes that scare me to my core, the eyes that held nothing but coldness and dread, the eyes that rise chills in my bone, the muddy brown dirty eyes that never once failed to surprise me but this time i look into it and I felt safe.

His eyes were worried and wide for me, holding onto my weak physique. His eyes hold so many promises that are unspoken. His hug still so tight, I can feel his chest rising and falling. I slowly take my hand that was curled around his shirt and rest it on his cheek.

He close his eyes and lean into my touch and a small smile made its way on his face. He look down again and lock his hands around my waist and pull me more closer to his lap.

"Don't cry...!" He whisper and a tear leak out of my eye and he made a sad disapproving face. "Why do you care..? I ask him as I let him wipe my teary face. "Because it's precious to me...!"

I had the balls to grip his collar and pull him closer harshly. "Why? Why are you fucking confusing for Godsake. First you go around killing people and then dump them, you abduct me, torture me and then all of a sudden you are trying to be an angel?" His lips form a smirk that I so badly wanted to wipe away by slapping him.

"People complain from those they have hope in!" His deep voice made my hand loosen on his collar but he doesn't move back but surprise me and move an inch closer as I admire his cruel beauty.

"I don't make beautiful promises Elara! I'm not a prince from a story tale to entertain you sweetheart. I'm real...too badly real for you to gulp down every breath I take!" His voice utterly calm and deep making me crawl back.

I don't want any promises, I don't want any hope in him but why is my heart saying otherwise. My mind filled with his face and his words, everything about him. "You are beautiful!" I couldn't stop my tongue this time earning amused chuckles from him.

"Men aren't beautiful dear Elara!" I frown at that but the voice of the foreign name sounded too sweet as if it is meant for me so I let him call me that. I don't complain when he call me anything in this voice.

"You are, you are beautiful Elara!" I'm sure I turn a deep shade of red but it was pitch black in the room so he wouldn't find out.

He slowly set me back down on the mattress while I felt disappointed that he let go of the embrace. I lay there still looking at his face remembering every inch of him. He takes me by surprise and get in the covers while I try to make distance between us but the hand that wrap around my back stops me.

He pull me in close while I struggle and wiggle to get out of his grip, I fist my hands and hit his chest for him to let go of me but it only results of him being a stubborn ass like me.

"Please...let...me..hold..you...love!" I melt down immediately as if he knew what exactly to say to tame me. His hands engulf my figure and he press my head into his own chest. I don't move nor say anything.

"Just embrace me Elara, please love...can you take my pain away?" I forgot my own name at this point but I turned a deaf ear on what he said. I'm not fucking responsible for what he's hurting on. 'You're heartless'. The voice in my head made me hide from everything.

Everything is paining and it's never stopping. From a kid till now, there's always a test in my way slapping its way out of me, testing my patience and leaving me empty with each round.

So for the first time, I'm about to do something so stupid in my life, I'll hate my guts for everything I'm gonna do to myself and everyone in my life. I'm gonna betray everyone that had even a little hope in me. I'm going to make a sin because I can't and I don't want to be an angel anymore.

So I clutch onto him tightly making him surprised, I bury myself in the crook of his neck for anything, for even an inch of warmth he radiates. I want to be selfish and I will be the most selfish person I've ever known.

I wrap my hands around his neck making him uncomfortable and he look down at me and I slowly smile at him which makes his eyes widen. He tighten his grip on me and bury himself in my hair.

I'm gonna be the bitch for what's left of me, I'll make sure to give off the teaching I got in this lesson of my broken life. I'll make sure to take everyone by surprise and take care of myself. I don't need Taehyung, Jungkook, Ria or my brother to throw pity at my way.

"I'll be everything that y'all made me!"

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