I CAN SEE YOU

twenty eight

Isn't it funny that when you're excited for something, the time until it feels like ages away.

Well that wasn't the case.

Unfortunately it feels like it's been a split second from standing upon the top of the podium in Spa, to standing outside the Verstappen's home on the Wednesday.

"This is all going to go horribly wrong." I mutter to myself, gently bouncing from foot to foot as I try to control my nerves.

"No it's not." Max places a hand on my lower back, soothingly rubbing circles as he tries to ease my anxiousness. And whilst I appreciate it, it's not exactly helping as I can feel his hands shaking lightly, showing his own nerves.

"How is it not?" I turn to look at him with my panic evident. "Max, they only know me as your biggest competitor - the person you've hated. They've probably never heard or thought of one good thing about me, and now here I am, on their doorstep and staying for dinner."

"I'm sure there has been one good thing." He rolls his eyes, but stops midway clearly in thought, which only makes me want to kill him.

"This isn't goo-" I'm stopped as Victoria opens the door, beaming with her usual glowing smile.

"Hello." She stands to the side, instantly letting us in.

Max uses the hand that was resting on my back to push me forward lightly - an act of a gentleman some may say, but I know it's really because he doesn't want me making a run for it, which we both know that I'm on the verge of doing.

It's like all sort of social skills leave my body the second I walk through the door frame. I know my mother would be ashamed of me standing here, looking around awkwardly whilst Max embraces his sister.

"I, erm, brought these for you." I hand over a box of chocolates and a bouquet of sunflowers to Victoria once she pulls away from Max. "I didn't think it would be acceptable to bring alcohol."

She laughs lightly before bringing me in to a quick hug, a squeeze long enough to show appreciation but also not to make me feel any more awkward than I already do.

"That's very thoughtful of you." She kindly smiles, taking them both out of my hands.

As she turns to put the sunflowers in a nearby vase I quickly glance over to Max, wanting to see some form of reassurance from him.

As our eyes quickly meet, a proud smile forms on his face whilst he shoots two thumbs up in my direction before hurriedly putting them back down by his sides as Victoria turns back around.

"Come with me." Victoria beckons forward as she begins to walk down the hallway. "Everyone else is already here and they're looking forward to meeting you."

Max places his hand on my lower back once again, making a light blush dance across my cheeks.

"You don't need to hold on to me. I'm not going to make a run for it." I whisper to him, not daring to look up because we both know that what I've said was a lie. Given the chance I would've ran out of here faster than I can drive - and that's saying something.

"Maybe I want to hold on to you." He whispers back, and I don't need to turn to see his smirk, it's practically evident in his voice.

And I never thought I would say this, but I'm now pretty grateful for his hands holding on tightly to me, because after his words I do go a bit weak at the knees.

As we reach the door frame everything inside me screams to stop - to stomp my heels in to the floor and refuse to move like a puppy visiting the vets. On the other side of the doorway is what I've been dreading, and the chance to run away is getting slimmer and slimmer, only increasing my panic.