They have a secret?! (Sanegiyuu)

Chapter 5 ups and downs

POV: tomioka

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I awoke from a nightmare and I start crying, taking in all the things that happened.
Was it my fault?
I should've been stronger maybe sabito wouldve survived the final selection.. And tsutako nee-san..i should've died, not her. She was supposed to get married to day after she died..
It was my fault. I should've die-

"GIYUU?!"Sanemi yelled snapping me out of my trance.
And I realized that I was having a panic attack.
"It's okay yuu!" He said as he Hugged me. He rubbed my back, trying to calm me down
"I-im sorry.. I-its my fault!" I said, hugging Sanemi tighter.

"It's not your fault.." he said, still holding me, but a little tighter. "You didn't do anything wrong.. Shh.." sanemi comforted me. I slowly stopped crying after about an hour, And for that hour Sanemi held me the whole time.

"Wanna tell me what happened.?" he asked softly. I figured it was about time to tell him what happened in my past.

".." I wanted to talk. I wanted to tell him. The words just wouldn't come out. "It's okay.. Take your time.. I'll be with you every step of the way" he said calmly.

"W-when I was young.. Both my parents died from an illness. (I think🫃) and my sister raised me till 13. She died saving me from a demon... She died the night before her wedding... I-" my throat started to hurt and my heart was pounding just telling someone this.

"It's okay.. You need a break?" sanemi asked. I shook my head Hesitatly.
"W-when I tried to tell the people in the town about what happened.. They-..they thought I was insane.. They labeled me mentally ill.." I continued, I could hear my own voice break as I spoke.

It hurt telling someone this. It was brought back up after I was trying to forget it. Only the master knows what happened. I'll never forgive myself for not being stronger.

"They tried to send me to my uncle, who was a doctor-" "what the fuck." sanemi cut me off.
"Yeah.. I ran away while they were taking me to him." I continued. "I almost died when urokodaki saved me and that's when I met my best friend sabito.."

I stopped after I said sabito's name.. I hated that I couldn't save him.
I stared at my hands, and I see sanemi hold my hands in his.
"Take ur time love.." he said gently

"Believe it or not.. When it was time for final s-selction...i couldn't even kill a single demon.. Sabito s-saved me.. But then.. The hand demon k-kille-...k-killed him.." I explained more of my past.

I wanted to throw up but I hadn't eaten a thing, so I couldn't. I started to cry once more and sanemi brought me into a hug. I sat there, in his arms, sobbing. I felt pathetic having him see me like this. I wanted to die because of how pathetic I am.

I stayed in his grasp and I started to talk once more. "After that.. I didn't know want to do.. It gave me a lot of nightmares and.. Their getting worse. I hate it!.. It doesn't stop..!"

"Shh.. I'm sorry love.. I know it's tough but.. Please.. It wasn't your fault.. They died because they loved you.. Your not weak. You're stronger than you think. Hell! You might even be one of our strongest hashira!" sanemi exclaimed. Earning a giggle out of me.

After an hour of sanemi comforting me, I fell asleep, but this time.. I didn't get a nightmare.

(Ending this angsty ass chapter🌚 some of the things said in this aren't canon bc ur author forgets a lot of thingz 😋 ending with 636 words!)