spiderman angst/sickfic oneshots

overdose (avengers)

(someone requested more sh/sui Peter so take this inspired by a traumatizing short film I watched in 7th grade (2nd half))

Context:
Set post endgame, noncompliant to any following lore. Tony is in fact dead.

Peter and several of the avengers are left homeless post blip are living in the rebuilt compound. The avengers and people around the world had donated money to get it rebuilt so the returned heroes would have a place to live.

Peter is not handling being back well at all.

------

Peter had mental health problems before the blip. Mostly anxiety issues, panic attacks, problems with symptoms of PTSD after homecoming, and he'd always had a weird issue with self harm, hurting himself to dim rushing thoughts and provide mental relief with distracting physical pain, but he'd never felt actively suicidal until he was tossed back into life after being nonexistent for five years, and having everything that was ever consistent from him torn away.

Sure, he'd always had the thought of 'if I die, oh well.' it made spiderman easier, knowing he would die for a good cause of if he died people would remember him. He never really looked at is as suicidal, more just at peace with death. Fine losing everything he had, fine with escaping the turmoil of his head if that's what the universe planned for him, but he never wanted to jump off a building without his webshooters or anything.

Until now.

After Thanos had come back, and Tony had died, Peter had been struggling more than ever.

There was so much change. He was tossed back into school where he knew barely any of his classmates, but still had Ned -though he was different, too. Struggling in the changes, trying to fight it, and not winning either.

His aunt and Happy were dating, which was a huge shocker. He didn't know how he felt about that one at all. He tried not to think about it. It felt like he was replacing Ben, even though it had technically been over six years now, Peter felt like it barely happened six months ago.

He was living with the avengers now. Well, some of them. Doctor Strange, Thor and Loki, Wanda, Sam (Falcon), Bucky, and every once in a while Clint stopped by to say hello, bringing his kids to visit their passed Aunt Natalie's friends and coworkers, let them go ham on the ping pong table in the common room, and all the fun things. Pepper and Morgan stopped by sometimes as well, always bringing his Aunt May and Happy whenever they were. Peter's own guardians lived outside New York City now, but he wanted to stay at his school, stay with Ned (who he knew was struggling) so they agreed to let him stay in the compound.

Worst off though, Tony was dead. After everything Tony did to get him back. To get him back -not half the population- him, his father figure had died. He had been there to watch his soul leave his body and the life slip from his eyes, leaving them dull and gray, watching as Pepper collapsed into sobs in front of him at the death of her husband, knowing their little girl was at home, waiting for her dad to give her another juice pop past her bed time, having no clue the generosity her father had endured to save so so many.

Peter was almost jealous of Morgan, he loved her like a little sister. Spending time with her was a joy when she came over every couple of months, but the more time went on, the more the life was sucked out of everything. His feelings went gray. Everything was hazy. He stopped being present in life as the shock of the situation weared off and reality set in.

That's when he started cutting again.
It was small at first, but within a week or two the habit had grown completely out of hand.

Worst part was that no one noticed a thing. Everyone was cought up in their own grief. Their own troubles. Their own work. Peter was more or less forgotten about until the next time Clint visited and let his kids loose to run around the bottom floor.