spiderman angst/sickfic oneshots

OCD (irondad)

Random question before we begin: what are y'all's opinions on flash x Peter bc I wrote one once that was interesting but I didn't post it and then deleted it bc I didn't know if anyone actually wanted it

Anyways

TW: OCD (cleaning), eating disorder, self harm, suicidal thoughts, etc.

Between hoco and Ultron
Is that even the right timeline? Idk!
Idc that they moved out of the tower it's set in the tower bc it's more accessible to Peter and I want it that way

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Everything started after homecoming and Peter didn't have half a clue why. He was just as confused as everyone else when he suddenly really really really cared about his health and the health of those around him.

Being trapped underneath a building was a disgusting experience. Being burnt in a beach fire, having glass, debri, and sand pressed into his burns and the infection he experienced afterwards were the worst injuries he had ever sustained while doing the spiderman gig, and that was including the few stab wounds and near miss bullet wounds he'd experienced.

Probably because other people ended up knowing about these injuries. He didn't have a choice when they'd gotten infected.

He had been sitting on top of a coney island roller coaster when he first got the urge to "decontaminate," as he had started calling it. He wanted everything touching him off. He wanted to feel clean, rested, and safe. Problem was, he felt absolutely none of those things, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to for a while, which made him want to cry.

When he finally got home after being treated, he began to clean. It was calming, a good way to relax and focus on something else after so much emotion. Cleaning became a safe space. He enjoyed it, it made him feel okay when everything around him felt like it was falling apart. By cleaning, he made a space that felt healthy to be in, mentally and physically.

The want to clean began to follow him everywhere until it was a need. Until his anxiety took complete control of his body and the only way to avoid nauseatingly severe anxiety was to clean. Wash his hands for the length of two happy birthdays and an alphabet where the water was scalding hot. Refuse to touch doorknobs he hadn't wiped down. Shower daily, making sure to wash every single part of his body as efficiently as possible.

But it was fine. People noticed his extreme cleanliness, but it was never a problem.

It wasn't a problem until the anxiety spread to actions other than cleaning.

I must close this door right or May will die.

I must write the date on my homework perfectly or else Mr. Stark will suffer a horrible accident.

I won't step on any cracks in the pavement and if I do I must make sure to shower three times as soon as possible so that Ned doesn't get sick and die.

It took him longer to get places as he avoided walking in certain areas to avoid more cracks, he didn't get out the door as soon because he had to make sure to close all the doors correctly, his homework papers looked like sheepskin from erasing over and over and over.

He began crying at night, not that he hadn't every night from nightmares, but now he couldn't understand why. He couldn't find a reason except feeling chronically anxious (even beyond anxiety, he was scared) and overwhelmed. The worries followed him into spiderman. Homecoming had been hard, and for some reason it was harder to start again now that he had his suit back. His anxiety made him feel sick, but he knew that he needed to help people.

He aggressively cleaned to avoid this conflict, scrubbing down his desk and vacuuming his floor. May came home from work at 3am to him cleaning the oven, the stove on top sparkling and new looking.