spiderman angst/sickfic oneshots

anxiety attack (Ned, MJ, Peter)

TW: anxiety attack and me venting thru fics
lowkey sometimes I think I might be autistic tbh. Like genuinely. It's not out of the genetic pool here (cousin is audhd + my grandma 100% has ADHD idc she's not diagnosed she has it) but I also have ADHD (diagnosed) so 🫡🫡 anyways here is a combination of overstimulation and panic attacks
I'm so lucky that I can keep a slightly clear head and usually work myself out of panic attacks, like I'll be like "shit I cannot fucking breathe fick I am dying duck I cannt breathe" and then it's just like "nah just breathe bro ur good"

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Everything had been weighing on Peter lately. School, grades, spiderman, you name it. He was exhausted. He was so so exhausted.

There was no feeling that could describe the shell of a human being Peter felt like at the end of every school day. He had so little energy to pull from after studying all day and saving New York all night (and sometimes that leaked into his days as well, most of the time actually). Being two people was tiring. It took everything out of him. He didn't have so much patience anymore, he didn't have so much thought before words left his mouth, especially to people he was comfortable around.

The first recipient was his Aunt May, a mother to him. She knew he was exhausted, she knew he was burnt out, so when he snapped at her about not knowing "what the hell" he "wanted for dinner" she let him slam his door, scream into his pillow, and they talked about it afterwards. She knew he had so little to pull from and never took his little outbursts of overwhelmed emotion personally. They always talked it out. It was always fine.

But that overwhelmed emotion didn't only come out at home, no, it came out at school as well. Especially towards the end of the day. With his enhanced senses, school was literal hell. It was a sensory nightmare. After walking through the enormously crowded hallways, being touched an shoved by people's bags and shoulders, Ned bumping into him as they walked along, all the chatter, the keychains on every individual bag clanking, Ned talking to him mindlessly about his Lego set, the heart beats of everyone in the building, the lights buzzing, his socks were too tight, all his shirt seams were touching him, his boxers were bunchy, one part of his shoe was too lose and the other was too tight, some coach was blowing a whistle over and over in the gym, his cheeks felt hot, his hair was a bit too greasy, someone was touching him, Ned bumped into him again, he felt like exploding in nervous anger.

"Ned shut up!" He shouted, breathing harshly. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. He felt nauseous everything was so crowded in his head and all of the input was too much. Some people paused their conversations and turned their heads, other people side eyed them as they passed. Trough his already glassy eyes, Peter saw the hurt look on Ned's face.

What was worse is he didn't even have the energy to apologize before Ned ran off. Peter was brimming with anxious energy, his entire body was tense as the sensory input just kept coming. His legs were tired, his feet hurt, his backpack was too heavy, he was thirsty, his stomach hurt, he hurt Ned, his throat hurt, he felt like crying, everything was too loud, three different people were now talking about subjects loosely related to dissolving friendships, eight people were talking about a party they went to last night, the lights were buzzing, four toilets flushed all around the school at very slightly different times, he heard the water running through the pipes, and suddenly he was punching the glass blocking the fire alarm and pulling the switch.

Alarms blared and the noise got exponentially louder as people screamed and flooded the halls. He pushed out a door and climbed to the roof of the building, out of sight, as everyone filed out. Once everyone was out he slipped back inside, things were finally quieter. No more voices, no more touching.