The Queen and the Theif

Pain

After spending all afternoon with Mariland gossiping, drinking horribly expensive (and horribly delicious) champagne, and writing a letter to my kingdom, temporarily putting Georgia, my commander, in charge.  It was getting late, but me and Mariland were reminiscing about childhood, drunk.
"You were always a beautiful girl," She said, words slurring like mine "And now you are a beautiful woman. Perfect for my son." She started to sing. "La la la la, la la la laaa la ala LAA" in the tune of a wedding song.
I laughed and laughed, my drunkenness getting evident. "Your son is very handsome. And very sassy." I said, giggling. "Just like you."
"Your children will be gorgeous, and they will be the greatest rulers of all time!" She giggled again. "You know, this was always my plan," She said, yawning, "To get you two together, then my grandbabies will inherit Saton. The most powerful kingdom in the world!"
That sobered me up really quick. She continued on.
"Oh I can't wait! For grandbabies!" She said lovingly, as I felt all that champagne coming back up. She is here for me, only because she wants my kingdom.
I faked a yawn, now wide awake.
"Oh, Mariland, dear, I'm going to head back to my room!" I headed back to my room. Inside waiting was Nellie, and she helped me out of my overcoats and changed me into night clothes in silence. We took off my makeup and undid my hair. I put on my night clothes provided in the changing closet for modesty sake, and Nellie left.
Cassian suddenly came rushing in.
"Juliette, can we talk about-"
"I'm sorry, I don't really want to talk tonight," I said before pushing him back out the door. I don't need this tonight. My mind is too preoccupied. I will deal with the consequences tomorrow.
As I push him out the door, I collapse on the bed. Still in my tea dress. My mind is mentally drained from that conversation. Sleep will do me well.
A knock comes at the door as Nelouise enters carrying a letter, with a gold label. That strikes my attention.
"Queen Juliette, dear" She says, handing me the letter with interest. "A letter from your kingdom. It was mailed as urgent."
I take the letter, excusing Nelouise before ripping it open.

Dear Queen Juliette,
Today, August 7th, we had a horrible uprising of protestors, with their intentions against the crown and your previous actions. I ordered the army to incarcerate all offenders, but I can not completely do so without approval from you. I hope for your speedy approval, as they are growing by the day. It has even extended to genetic houses having bricks being thrown through windows with notes on said bricks. There have been several house fires started involving the protesters too. Please return to Saton as soon as possible.
General Georgia

"Oh God" I whisper. Closing my eyes as the pain sweeps my body in persistent waves. Something inside me has broken. No. Something has been broken for a long time. Everything inside me is broken
The tears start to fall. Panic rushes over my body.
My actions. Consequences. Who have I become? I am the queen of the most feared empire in the world. There are no consequences, what I say is done. The Blood Queen.
What happened to the sweet princess?
I climbed into bed, and tried to sleep, but my thoughts were filled with wonders of what happened to me. I couldn't. I got up out of bed and looked out the window. The stars. I tiptoed into the hallway, and up  the long spiraling staircase to the roof Mariland showed me earlier. I started running up the stairs, gasping when I was finally up. The best view in the kingdom, she had called it.
As I got up there, I was stunned. I could see a billion stars. The kingdom was beautiful. I didn't even notice as the tears started falling down my cheeks.
"Why is life so unfair? I don't want any of this. I never wanted any of this." I said quietly, just to myself. The question was rhetorical, but I find myself thinking. Because it is true. I was thrust into power at fifteen, while still a teenager. My lover betrayed me. My father was killed. My mother died at my birth. I go crazy and massacre thousands. Now, the place I was finally feeling accepted, it turns out they only accepted me for my kingdom. My own kingdom is finally giving me justice for what I have done. I got so little peace in my life, that I was brought to tears by the stars I used to marvel at every night. I used to love stars. Now the sight disgusts me. Back before everything became so confusing.
"I know you never did" I heard a voice behind me answer my rhetorical question. Ezra. That made me want to cry more. After all these years his voice still calms me. I should have guessed he would be out here. "You, least of all, deserve a hard life." I don't even have the energy to fight him off as he approaches. Now the tears started falling faster and more. "You want to know something? I have looked at the stars every night since I left you, with the thought of the small chance you're looking at them too. Then we didn't seem so far apart. I suppose I feel even worse now that you're closer." He looked at me, eyes widening at the tears I hadn't allowed myself to cry for years, and he lifted my chin towards him, I let him. "Juliette, I want you to know I didn't kill your father." The silence suddenly became loud. "Who you saw on that television was my old friend. He used to be a rebel like me. Then he decided to make a deal with the king of Illea, and agreed to kill the king of Saton. He dressed like me to blame me.  He attempted to break us up and pass without blame. It worked."
I suppose I had known, deep down, the whole time. That made me cry even harder. Because I believe him. I have spent years draining my innocence and youth hating someone I had somehow known had been innocent. He was just the only one left to channel my anger into. All I have known all my life is lies and agony, so when I finally got something real, I didn't believe it. It made sense that I was being betrayed.
The agony I was feeling right now was greater than anything else, the tears kept coming, in little sobs, until we ended up sitting down, as I sobbed into his shirt, his strong arms wrapped around me. Everything rushed through my head. Regret, Regret, Regret. Why? Why. Why. Hate, Hate, Hate. for myself.
He looked at me, eyes glassy, before saying. "I'm sorry for what I said to him today." The 'him' hung in the air with us, neither of us wanting to bring Cassian into this special moment. "I'm sorry for leaving you and not making you listen. I'm sorry for not making sure you didn't do anything you regret. I'm sorry for being that stupid. Because of me thousands of innocents are dead."
Suddenly he got up, offering me a hand. A pained expression on his face.
"Even if just for a night, please help me forget everything. Dance?" he said, like old memories come back again. I nodded slowly. His hand settled on my hip, and mine on his shoulder, other hands linked as we began to sway, not in a romantic way, but in a way that said, finally. I've missed you. I'm here for you.
When I finally calmed down, about an hour later we finished dancing, before we bowed and I curtsied. I layed on the floor, Ezra next to me. We just looked at the stars together. Just like that amazing night two years ago. For a little while it was just Ezra and Juliette again. Just two kids doing their best to stay together, as the whole world tries to draw us apart. For just a little while, I didn't have a fiance, and we were together again. Ezra and Juliette, two halves to the same heart.
He leaned over and whispered to me, "I still miss you. Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky." He gave me a light kiss, not on my mouth, but on the side. Then one on the tip of my nose, then my forehead. Everywhere but my lips.
"Juliette, I am yours, now and forever. When you're ready to be mine, I'll be here." We were together, like we dreamed of, and when I finally climbed back into bed, I had an identical dream to my dream two years ago. A dream once again of forever.