i'm at somewhere
it's new year eve
but all i feel is grief
people surrounded by me
but all i feel is ghosts floating
it's last year's 11:11
when will this end?
all the sparkling lights-
blurring my vision
here i am taking pictures faking smiles
the fireworks are dangerously beautiful
all i feel is fear but it's cool
the songs are blocking my eardrum
as if i don't wanna hear
the year's ending
and i'm not changing
the moon's making one step away from me
im swinging by a thread
it's slipping through my nails
i see empty bottles on the grass
my life is undone
forever
it's new year eve
and i really don't know what i'm doing
there are men around my being
but none of them are him
it’s new year eve
and i'm suddenly freezing
i'm in another city
familiar faces and ugly souls are all i see
it's new year eve
and all i remember is him
is it what it feels like to be alive?
leaving everything behind?
i don't want another year
and then lose it all not being prepared
is it bcz i think too much?
or that i'm scared of loud noises
my ears are blind and my eyes are deaf
my heart's beating not like it ever did
i hate the beats of the music
there are souls breathing near me
strangers dancing
oh god
they don't care about me
oh god
i don't belong here for even a bit
i'm not aware of what's people telling
my presence is here
but
i'm at somewhere
writing
