friday night fire fight - oneshots

ineffable husbands (nsfw)

in the lap of the gods
aziraphale x f!reader x crowley
3k words

summary: it's 1941, and aziraphale is about to perform on the west end stage. he needs an assistant, of course, but you can't stand the outfit you're required to wear. your angel and your demon show you just how much they love it.

warnings/tags: smut and fluff, reader wears a slutty outfit, threesome, thigh riding, semi-public sex, body worship, crowley's a horny bitch, war violence, bombs, mentions of alcohol, mentions of guns

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"I really don't see why this get-up has got to be so... revealing," you said. "I look like a harlot."

"Well," came a voice from behind the thin paper of the changing screen, "I suppose it's to entice the strapping young soldiers out there. They do seem to enjoy a bit of... should I say... adultery?"

There came a second voice from further in the room, coiled and slick like a serpent. "Or," he drawled, "it's for easy access."

"Crowley," chided the first voice, disdain dripping from his tongue.

You gave a silent huff as you adjusted the skimpy little outfit the manager of the West End theater had given you, tugging at the thin material that barely covered your breasts and the thin strap that snaked between your legs. It was a glittery, near-elastic piece of pazazz that was sure to earn you more than a few glances and whistles this evening... something you promised you wouldn't let get to you. If not for your reputation, for the pair of men on the other side of the changing screen that encased you like a butterfly trapped in a jar.

If you inhaled deep enough, you were still able to smell the smoke that clung to Aziraphale and Crowley's suits, permeating the air and poisoning their natural musks that you so loved to inhale. You had spent the better part of the evening, as you followed them through London streets and around a magic shop, picking pieces of rubble and dusting traces of the explosion from their backs and shoulders. The bomb had shaken you to your core despite being miles away when it had happened, tucked away safely in the passenger seat of the Bentley.

"Crowley," you had said as your demon had parked his car between the shadows of two tall, sturdy buildings that still stood against the smoke and destruction of the bombs. "What are we doing here? There's still planes overhead."

"Just sit tight for a minute, love," he'd replied before climbing from the Bentley. "It seems our angel's got himself in a heap of mess."

The explosion had rocked the ancient church in the distance like a match igniting a stick of dynamite; fast, and hot, and loud. You waited so long you considered getting out and running to search the site for your lovers before they had come strolling around the corner through the dark, dusting themselves off and murmuring quietly beneath their breaths.

"Aziraphale," you had said when you climbed from the car to greet them. "What on earth have you done?"

"Good evening to you, as well, my darling," he had said, then lifted your hand and placed a loving kiss upon your knuckles. "Just got myself a bit caught up. Nothing to worry your head over."

Crowley had harrumphed slightly as he dropped himself into the driver's seat once more. "Get in, you two. I've got an appointment to keep."

An appointment had led to forty broken bottles of whiskey. Forty broken bottles of whiskey had led to Aziraphale becoming a magician, and that had led to buying a very real rifle with very real bullets. And the rifle, and the bullets, and the broken bottles of whiskey, and everything else had led to you finding yourself here behind this changing screen, examining the costume of a magician's assistant who, really, was only there to look pretty and smile when the light panned over her.