RANTS

4

I can't. 

What the fuck am I supposed to do?

My parents, aunt, and uncle decided not to tell my grandma about her brain cancer because they didn't want her to completely shut herself off from everyone. 

which is understandable

but she's stronger than that. 

When she had breast cancer, I didn't see her smile falter once

I didn't see her expression drop once

I didn't see her mood waver once

she took it like a champ

and I tried to explain that she should know what's going on with her 

that it feels off to not tell her that and hide it from her

when she has the right to know what's going on

if she didn't want to know, that would be a different story

but she's been asking

and every single time

my dad says that it's "just a cold" or "virus that'll go away in a few weeks"

sure, it'll go away

but my grandma will go away too

so y'know how she had like 2 months to live?

yea, well yesterday everyone was in a good mood

I got to spend a lot of time with my grandma 

watched a couple of movies

got a bunch of work done

had ice cream and an awesome dinner

but when we came back from the restaurant

my grandma was shaking

and she was drifting in and out of consciousness.

of course, this was like 10 minutes after we came back

so I was in the middle of talking to her when it happened

and it went downhill from there