Umeed Pasha was seven years old when she slipped from the stairs of her house. Given her boisterous nature and the urge to never sit silently in one place, it was normal for her family whenever she got scratched or bruised but this was indeed her first big injury that didn't let her mother sleep for nights.
Initially, Umeed found those eight stitches right above her ear incredibly ugly until her mother calmed her down telling her how fascinating it looked, further soothing her daughter by creating a story that her scars carry magic dust which makes her little beetle even more special.
Whenever Umeed recalled that time she remembered her mother barging through the hospital doors while she scooped in her father's arms. Arzu Pasha, who that day appointed her husband to look after her kids while she was away at her sister's place decided she'd never leave her kids in her husband's supervision again.
But she did leave. 5 years later. Within the blink of an eye. Relatives would often say that it'd have hurt less if she had been sick for years and months. But Umeed wanted to fight them, telling them that no matter what the circumstances were, it hurt immensely. She didn't need their empty condolences. She lost respect for many of them when right after her mother's funeral, everybody was more concerned about what was for dinner. She heard someone asking her chachu whether they'd have chicken or daal. That day she felt this urge to fight everybody. She wanted to scream at the lady asking her already mourning Chachi for an extra naan, she wanted to smack her cousins playing in the lounge right where her mother's dead body lay a few hours ago.
That night when Arzu was buried, Umeed stayed in her mother's room on her cold bed. She didn't know if her father returned from the graveyard. Sameer probably slept with Aghu Jaan and Chachu Chachi looked after the guests who were probably staying till quls. Umeed didn't know what exactly it was but she wished it'd end so these people would leave soon. This wasn't Umeed's first time sleeping on that bed, she'd often do that when she was scared. Arzu ensured she slept with her when she tripped off the stairs. Whenever Umeed got scared her mother would press her to her chest, and recite Quranic verses, telling her it was okay. That night, Umeed was equally scared, sobbing in her mother's pillow that smelled like her but there was no warmth, no motherly embrace. Nobody came to check on her as her mother did and the next morning she woke up without a comforter- something that had never happened before. It was the day she realized things were going to be different. It was only her mother who'd check on her every night ensuring that she hadn't slipped the comforter while sleeping. Umeed knew that night, she'd have to protect herself and her brother from now onwards. So, the next morning when she woke up, she went to Aghu Jaan's room and found a sleeping Sameer and covered him with a chadar just like their mother would do.
Umeed learnt many things after her mother passed away and one of them was that not everyone would be there to look after her wounds hence she'd have to tend them by herself. Not that her Aghu Jaan, Chachu, or Haya did not love her enough, they left no stone unturned in spoiling her, saving her from Pasha Saab's wrath but when she got herself in a brawl with Tasneem, her maternal cousin at Haya's birthday party, nobody stepped up to defend her, nobody knew it wasn't just her who pushed him but he also scratched her arms leaving marks and pinched her leaving a bruise. Of course, it hurt but she told herself the magic dust her mother talked about, was enough for her to deal with the world.
