𝓐𝓵𝓹𝓱𝓪 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓞'𝓜𝓮𝓽𝓪 - Mark Zuckerberg x Barack Obama

2 - Perfectly Un-Sad

Drip

Drip

Drip

"Huzzah!" Obama exclaimed, waking with a start.

He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand- whatever has been dripping was evidently directly overhead.

But how could it have been? Looking around, all Barack saw was hot pink quartz and cold marbled floors. God, was it cold!

He shivered, both in fear and from the temperature, trying to figure out how he'd gotten here.

Of course, after Michelle he'd found himself waking up in a lot of strange places...but this...this was different, he knew it.

For one, he was clothed.

His confusion didn't continue much longer when from out of the depths of the impossibly dark corner in the far reaches of the room strutted Zuck Thunderfuck 3000.

He was holding a fleece blanket and a mug of Magic Warming Elixir. Thank the heavens!

"Sorry, I forgot you can't survive in the conditions of my home without some help," Zuck explained guiltily.

"Oh, it's alright...I was just wondering what happened?" Obama asked, rubbing his head as a convenient reminder of his prior head injury.

The creature man sat down on the...pod...that Obama had been laid down on, handing him the items.

"Well when you passed out," he began while flinging his long hair over his shoulder and checking his makeup in a compact mirror, "we were right next to my penthouse, so I brought you inside until you woke up. Simple as that."

As if on cue, Heat Waves (Stripped Back) by the Glass Animals started playing distantly. Obama looked lovingly up into the man's face, simultaneously missing Michelle and being excited to get to know him better.

How can someone so inhuman make him feel so completely human?

No one had been so caring to Obama since.....

The bell rings and everyone files out of class.

Everyone except for one, that is. 16 year old Barack Obama. It wasn't that he wanted to stay, he simply hadn't registered the bell. Lost in thought, he stared out the window.

"Mr. Obama?" He snapped out of it to see the teacher standing over him, concerned. "Are you alright? The bell rang." Barack nodded frantically while trying to gather his things to leave.

"Sorry, I guess I was just daydreaming."

That wasn't too far off- he was dreaming of a cuntry under his rule, a lizard man by his side....

"Mr. Obama, this is the 9th time this week you've done this. And you're only in this class 3 times a week!" The teacher told him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

The future president looked down at his feet, not entirely aware of his own sanity at the moment. "I'm alright, sir. Thank you for worrying, one day I'm sure I'll pardon you for horrendous crimes."

The teacher looked around nervously. "Yeah...no problem. Yknow, I had dreams like yours once. Ones that distracted me from real life..." he turned his head slowly to look out the window.

"Sir?" Obama watched him stare for a few more seconds before running out to catch his bus.

The former president looked back at Zuck. His kindness brought him back to simpler times, before his presidency, before Michelle and Malia and Sasha...

Obama leaned in towards the lizard man, expecting the coolness of his skin to meet the warmth of his, but instead was thrown back into the far wall with as much force as it would take to end a small child's life.

Zuck was crouching low and hissing, eyes flitting about wildly as he skittered to higher ground.

"Zuck! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"CADILLAC! YOU HAVE A CADILLAC!"

"...what"

"I DONT FUCK IN CADILLACS"

"OKAY?! THAT IS NOT WHERE THIS WAS GOING, ZUCK!!!"

"Oh, okay." The lizard man crawled down to the floor and sat back down on the pod as if nothing had happened.

Obama shook his head and laughed to himself, smirking. How did he find such a man?

667 Words
Sorry for the delayed update 🤪