As Potter is to Snape

Chapter 46

Remus Lupin was tired, the kind of tired that you could feel deep down in your bones. The kind that no amount of coffee or stay awake spells could get rid of. Remus was utterly exhausted, and he had no one to blame but himself.

For the past two nights, ever since he'd taken the map from Harry, he had stayed awake, pouring over it in search of answers. To which questions, he was uncertain. Because what did it mean if Harry had seen Peter's name on there? It simply shouldn't be possible, and yet, the map is never wrong. He knew this to be a fact. The only way for Harry to see Peter's name on the map is if Peter was inside the castle.

Remus sat back in his chair and stretched his arms up above his head. A glance out of the window showed the beginnings of sunrise and he sighed as he brought his thumb and forefinger up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He could already feel a headache coming on and he had a class to teach in just a few hours.

He looked back down at the map, his eyes instinctively searching for a name, though this time it wasn't Peter's.

Harry's name showed him to be in his room down in his and Severus's quarters, presumably sleeping. Severus was in his room, though the minute footsteps next to his name were moving around and Remus guessed that his brother was already getting ready for the day.

Remus thought about how the caseworker was due to come today and his shoulders sagged a little more. This was the last thing Severus needed to hear about right now. He should just be focusing on Harry and the adoption and yet, Remus knew that he would have to tell them all soon. He had hidden this from them long enough and it was time to be honest.

Still, he wondered just how much he would have to admit to in order to clear the slate. He knew he should come clean about everything, especially the part about how Sirius was possibly getting around unnoticed, but part of him— the selfish and cowardly part— didn't want to admit to what they had done. There was still the possibility that he was wrong. After all, it was unlikely that someone who had been in Azkaban for as long as he had would even still have any magic left, let alone enough to still transform with.

Remus tapped the rim of his teacup with his wand to reheat it before taking a sip. He quickly scanned the map one last time before clearing it and folding it back up. None of this mattered anyway. Remus knew what he had to do and like it or not, it was time to do it. He glanced at his watch and stood up so that he could start getting ready. He would talk to his dad and tell him everything, but they needed to get through today first.

***

"Harry, stop sulking and eat your breakfast."

"I'm not," Harry replied, though his voice was slightly muffled because he was lying with his head resting on top of his hands. A bowl of cereal with toast and jam sat untouched in front of him. "I'm not hungry either."

"You need to eat something," Severus insisted from where he sat, drinking his coffee.

"I'm really not hungry," Harry said again as he sat up to look at his guardian.

Severus sighed and tapped the table so that the food vanished. "Alright, but you know I don't like you skipping meals. I want you to make sure you at least eat something for lunch."

"I will," Harry promised quickly.

Severus nodded and reached a hand out to gently place it on Harry's shoulder. "I know today is not going to be easy, Harry, but it's nothing you can't handle. You've already gone through the interviews with Ms. Bouchard once and you can do it again. Just answer whatever questions she has and be honest and respectful. You can do this."

Harry kept his focus on the table as he nodded, leaning in slightly to the warmth of Severus's hand. "I will. Do you think she'll talk to us right after class? I've got Defense straight after Potions."