Jesse's secret

22

Hoppos pov:
I can't even start to say how much I appreciate Marco. Not only did he help save my daughter yesterday on the beach and then even further helped with my boys panic attack, but now he even goes out of his way to stay by Alexandra's side to ensure she won't be in any harms way. Which I am even more thankful for, since Jesse and I sadly have to leave the hospital within the next few minutes if we don't want to get kicked out.
Since I don't want to disturb my boys and best friends moment, I kept quiet and let them have their time. It's truly amazing to see their strong bond. The closeness and blind trust they share is incredible. Once again I am reminded that they both were part of the infamous bra boys gang, where they met and became friends, or better said family. It's obvious to see how deeply they care for one another. Marcos reaction when Jesse's anxiety started up again, was show enough. Yet he still didn't stop there, no! He even further helped his bra to stop panicking and without even a second of hesitation offered to stay by their sweethearts side. Not seeming to care in the slightest that he already had a full shift behind himself, nor that he is due for another one starting tomorrow morning.
The soft and loving smile he has on his lips, as he looks towards our still unconscious girl, also helps sooth my own worry for my newly found daughter. It's clear to see that Marco certainly wouldn't stop at anything if it comes to her safety and care. Therefore my confidence to leave my little girl here in his care rises even further.
So after we all once again said our goodbyes, I lead Jesse out of the room and only shortly after, out of the hospital itself. Just as we got into my car, Jesse's phone rang and therefore sadly gets him back into his worrying state at he hastily reaches for his still ringing phone.
„Hey, take some deep breaths buddy. Nothing happened, we all are perfectly safe. No need to fall back into a panic attack." I softly whisper as his wide eyes right away stare into mine like a deer caught in the head lights. Instead of saying something more, I slowly take his phone in my hand and smile reassuringly.
„It's maxi, probably meant to hear how you are doing." I say as I also sigh in relief that it wasn't Marco since that would mean something might be wrong with my girl.
„You good?" I ask since he stayed quiet and carefully take a few more deep breaths. My fondness even increases as I watch my sweet son so determined to calm down like I asked him to.
„That's it bud, take a few more deep breaths, yeah?" I encourage softly and watch as he slowly gets his breathing back to normal. Which I am rather thankful for!
„Ok, I am good. Sorry." he sighs out, still slightly out of breath but over all good.
„There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for Jesse. Nothing, you hear?" I state matter of factly. Wanting and needing him to understand that he in no way need to be sorry for his feelings nor worries. Especially since it is more than understandable for him to be this high on alert after everything that had happened.
„I, ok?" he says, yet asks. Sounding really unsure of himself which is something I wont allow. He really needs to learn that nothing he feels is an inconvenience for everyone around him nor something he feels insecure about himself.
„Jesse? I need you to listen closely to what I am going to tell you ok?" I ask him seriously as he instantly stiffens in fright. Yet he nods his head in understanding.
„There is nothing wrong with you being worried for your sister. If anything it's honorable and more than understandable! Even more so with how close you got yesterday to losing her." I state matter of factly as his eyes fill with tears. Still, I decide to keep going, knowing deep down that he needs to hear it out loud.
„You are not only her brother, you pretty much raised her, her whole life. So please stop thinking bad about your own feelings and worries. They are in no way an inconvenience for anyone. And if someone says they are, then THEY are in the wrong. You hear?" I say strongly. Hoping he will finally believe me on that and stop thinking so badly of himself. I even less want him to keep on thinking he isn't as important or good enough as others. I mean that's ridiculous! He is an amazing young man that does everything to take care of everyone around him. For gods sake, he became a lifeguard that literally saves life's every day! I know that the reason behind his low self esteem are his so called parents, but I swear I am going to do everything in my power to change that.
„I want you to understand that I won't stop telling you that and that I even less will leave you or your sister. I also won't be watching as you keep talking yourself small either. You are an amazing young man and it is time that you finally see you as that as well." I softly end my quickly prepared speech. My sweet Jesse by now is curled up against my chest, as I comfortingly caress his back. Hoping to spend as much comfort and security as possible as my son cry's into my shirt. Maybe this was the final push he needed to finally let go of all the past hurt and pain and start to look forward.
„It's ok buddy, you no longer are alone. You can count on me son." I add in a whisper before kissing his head softly.
No idea for how long we sat like that, but I don't care either. The only important thing to me is that my boy is now smiling shyly yet with some new found confidence within himself as we drive to the small bakery near my home to order the sweets for the security staff. Which once again is a reminder at what an incredible sweet person my son truly is.