Motorcycle Heart

Halloween

It was Halloween night at the precinct, and the atmosphere was buzzing with excited cheers from the crowd.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," the crowd roared.

Amy sighed, "Sorry, sarge. Ugh, Halloween is the worst. Everyone's drunk, wearing a mask, and carrying a fake gun. Plus, all the girls think they have to dress sexy."

Jake nodded in agreement, "I know, that is the worst. Please make them stop."

Amy rolled her eyes, "I passed a slutty tree on the way here. Who wants to have sex with a tree?"

Scully chimed in, "Was it a maple?"

Jake echoed, "Was it a maple?"

Charles greeted the group, "Buon giorno, buon giorno. Pretty cool 'stume, huh?"

Avery looks u- from her paperwork and raises an eyebrow, "'Stume?" She asks.

Charles clarified, "Short for costume."

Jake smirked, "Ah. All right, let me guess. You are dumpy Chuck Norris."

Charles chuckled, "No, I'm..."

Rosa interrupted, "Dumpy Ron Weasley."

"No."

"Dumpy Princess Fiona!" Avery guesses.

"You had to know that one was wrong," Charles shakes his head. Avery smirks at him.

Terry intervened, "You guys, stop it. He put thought into his costume, and he is obviously Miranda from Sex and the City."

Charles explained, "Guys, I'm Mario Batali! 'Molto Mario'? Celebrity chef? Ginger Prince of Little Italy?"

Jake teased, "Is he also a homeless troll doll? 'Cause you look like a homeless troll doll."

A perp passing by complimented, "Hey, sweet Batali costume, dude."

Charles beamed, "Thank you! There's a man with impeccable taste."

"He bit a guy's butt off at a W.N.B.A. game. Eric Stoltz from Mask."

Charles laughed, "I'll take it."

Jake nodded, "Yeah."

Now called into the briefing room, Sergeant stood at the front, addressing the team with authority, "I hope you're all well-rested. It's gonna be a busy night."

Jake chimed in, "The holding cell's completely full. I keep having to separate Hillary Clinton and Kim Jong-Un."

~

A flashback ensued, revealing a humorous scene where the two unlikely characters, Hillary Clinton and Kim Jong-Un, kept jumping every change to get together, much to Jake's dismay.

"Stop it! Stop making out! Hey... no! What would Bill say?" Jake exclaimed.

~

Captain Holt took charge, "We need two undercovers at the DeKalb Street warehouse party. Boyle, you're already in costume as, uh, Joy Behar?"

Charles corrected, "I'm Mario Batali."

Holt acknowledged, "Okay. And, uh, Santiago, you go with him."

Amy sighed, "Yes, sir. Damn it."

Charles reassured her, "Santiago, I know that you hate Halloween, but stick with me, and I promise you, you will love it."

"I remember when we were kids," Avery recalls a memory from when her and Amy grew up together, "she refused to go trick or treating with me, so I had to bribe her older brother with half my earnings that night to go with me."