Broken

Chapter 11

Hello everyone! I know it has been a super long time since I have uploaded and for that I'm sorry. So, I have made it to just a few over 300 reads and I'm super excited!!!  Thanks so much everyone for reading. Lets try to get some votes or comments for this chapter. I would really love to get some feedback and know how everyone is liking the story so far. Enough with my ramblings and on to the story now.

                                              XoXo

                                                    -Jessabell

~~~

Chapter 11~~~

   I felt kind of sick to my stomach when I clicked open the email. Did I really want to know who iBreaKthingZ was? I had sort of formed this picture of who he was and what he was like in my head to a point of almost perfection. Why? I have no clue but why not. When the picture finally loaded I was shocked. It was a copy of the news paper article from when my dad died along with his obituary.

~~~

Dear Journal,          Tues, April 29, 2008

I could hear mom on the phone when I walked up to her bedroom door. I walked into her room to find her sitting there with a blank look on her face as she hung up the phone and started to cry. I had to repeat asking her who was on the phone and what was wrong three times before she answered me. The only thing that came out of her mouth before she got up with her keys in her hand and left was... Dad hung himself in his jailcell this morning. WTF!!!!! I can't stop crying... The news of his death played over and over and over on the local radio station all day like it was trying to taunt me. Isn't this what I asked for? What I wanted him to do? I'm so confused right now! I hate him for what he did to us but why did he have to leave me. I miss my daddy.

                                        Love ya till next time,

                                                     Faith Compton

P.S. This is my fault I should have never said I wished he would die.

~~~

     I felt myself go numb and my chest tighten as the first tear trickled down my cheek. "Oh my god I can't breath" I cried to myself. I was having another panic attack. I was failing to catch my breath. My stomach started to twist in knots as each gasp I took became shalower than the previous and the last thought I had before I blacked out was that I was glad noone what here to see me.

~~~

     I woke up with a killer headache lying on the floor shivering. The sunlight shining through my window starting to sober me up from last nights episode. It took me a few minuted to recall why I was on my floor instead of in my bed. I pulled my knees up to my chest and just laid on my floor because I did not want to even move but then I hear my phone starting to ring. I pulled myself up to grab my phone and climbed into bed before answering it.

"Yup"  I said flipping open my phone.

"Hey babe where are you? You already missed first and secong periods" Miles questioned me.

"I'm not getting out of bed today, ugh, I don't feel good" I pouted to him.

"Ok babe, I'll stop by after school. Feel better."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later." I said and we ended the call.

   I laid in my bed for a few minutes before I decided there was no going back to sleep right now. "Ugh" I rolled out of bed and pulled a hoodie and a pair of pajama shorts out of my closet.

   After my shower my head had stopped hurting just a little so I downed two loratabs. I keep a stash hidden in my dresser between two pairs of jeans I never wear any more just in case. They are good for bad headaches and times when I just want to feel numb to everything. They make me feel like I could fly, all lovey, crazy, and numb all at the same time. I swear they are like the merical painpill. A tab will make you feel better no matter what is wrong physically or mentally. As I waited for the tab to kick in I logged on to my computer. The email from iBreaKthingZ was still pulled up on the screen so I quickly deleted it and scanned through the rest of my emails. There were the usual 200 plus junk emails my Facebook account took upon itself to sign me up for and one from Alex. I figured with the mood I was in and the effects of the tabs I took slowly seeping in it wouldn't hurt to read it instead of simply deleting it along with the junk emails.

~~~

       Hey darlin, how are you? I wish you would return my calls. I really miss you. I hope everything is going better for you now. How are your panic attacks coming along without me there to help. I hope you havn't had any at all. Look, I know I'm an ass and you have every right to hate me but it breaks my heart that you have moved on already. I love you more than you think Faith. Yea, I'm a dick but if anyone ever hurts you I will personally kill them. You know that don't you? Please call me. I love you!

                                                  Alex

~~~

  I really should call him. Yes, he cheated on me but I was the only one he openly dated and yes, I knew he would kill anyone who hurt me. He was always there when I needed him no matter what he was doing at the time. In his own way he loved me to the best of his ability. Who can blame him though? I was alot to take after my dad died. Alex had to take the responsibility as my father as well as my boyfriend and he did the best he could. Plain and simple he was my protection even when he was the one I needed protected from. I can remember the first time I found out he was cheating on me. It was actually his bestfriend that had told me. Everyone knew we belonged together and they were my safe haven as well even when they had to tell me bad news. I had cut it off with Alex and started to date someone else brieffly until Alex had called me. He told me he wanted me back and I told him he would have to wait. He did and thats how I know he really did love me.

~~~

  Well, guys thats it for chapter 11. I'm working on getting chapter 12 up as soon as I can. I promise it wont take as long as this one did.Sorry for any mistakes I havn't had time to edit this ( I know its becoming a habbit) Quick question for you all... Do you like it better when I do a recall of the previous chapters at the start of a new chapter? I'm not really sure about this but I would like to know how you guys feel about it. Also what do you think about Alex now? Do you think he is really an ass or after Faith explained it do you think he really loves her?

                            XoXo

                               -Jessabell