The things we go through

The New Journey

      It's a new life for me because I am in middle school and waking up early has me all jacked up. I have gone to school for about a week now and people start bullying me because I still haven't made friends and I am friends with the same people I have been my whole life. It was always my fault when something happened in the hallways so I would get shoved around and beat up by the older kids and they would make fun of me for being so short and never having friends around. I would walk around late to class because I tried to avoid so many people I could during passing periods. The only good part of the day was when I went to 7th period for orchestra because no one was mean and I felt comfortable at school.
     During the summer I hung-out with people and went to a party and I got made fun of so much because they would drink and I was so innocent and need did anything but my school work and I was a good kid in school. I had the worst summer because i had to stay in and never have anything  to do but sit inside to work for my parents.
    One day we had school off and my stepdad needed help to fix up the house and I was standing there and he got pissed at me for saying something and he said he wanted to choke me and I said do it and he grabbed me by my throat and picked me up and threw me against the wall. I was crying because I couldn't breathe. I told my mom and he changed it all around like I deserved it and he only 'hit' me. I was so scared to come home so I ran away all the time. My mom had met someone else after they had been married since 2008, it was 2011 at the time and she had met someone from work and had feelings for him and slept with him so she went over there all the time and I went over a few times and I liked him more than Dan because he was nice to me but Dan always was rude and never let me do anything I wanted. One day Dan hit my mom and I blew on and told him I liked my moms boyfriend more than him and my. Mom said she realized that she couldn't be with her because so they stopped the divorce and stayed married and I thought to myself  ' if you would've never said anything you wouldn't be here right now.'
    After everything cleared up with my parents I was staring the new year in 7th grade. This is the year I stated to get more depressed and I figured out the hard way that cutting isn't good. I thought it wasn't as it seemed. The first time I cut I bled so much and was bawling because I knew I ruined everything with my life and friends but no one cared. I felt so insecure about everything that was about me. I never talked to anyone or told
Anyone about my problems because I knew I would be made fun of for it on top of everything else. This year was  the worst year I had gone through so far and I wasn't ready for anything except cutting because  I knew I had nothing to live for so all I did was cut. I had so many scars on top of my body and I had to wear long sleeves all year round because I didn't want anyone to find out about my cutting.