Im A Freshman Again

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by braiden121356

by braiden121356

   So here lies the time right before school starts. I'm honestly so nervous but like I'm so ready. I always said that I was so glad I wasn't a freshman and here I am about to be a freshman again. I am so ready to start a new journey of my life with my best friend in college. And there's a catch, I met someone. Nick (my friend that I'm rooming with) hooked me up with this guy that I'm so scared to meet in college. I really like him but I'm scared he won't like me in college when we meet.
   I really want to be a good boyfriend but I've never actually had the experience with a guy. I mean I've had sex before but I've never been in a relationship with any man before. He's such a good person and I really want things to work out. I hope thing go well and that we move on later in life. I'm just so scared that I'm gonna fuck up and or I'll not be the person he's looking for. I don't know how to explain it but like i actually like someone and I don't want to fuck it up.
I'm going to go off track for the rest of this because I don't like talking about that stuff. It's time for me to start a new life and get ready to prepare myself for my career. I am so excited to be going to USI college and go with Nick. One thing I wish we could've done was get an apartment our freshman year. I mean yeah the dorm is fine but I would've liked to have more space and had like an actual glimpse of what having a "house" with my friend would've been like.
There's thing I want to do before I leave and there's things I wish I would've not done. Like I wish I would have just saved so much money for college but I had to cut so many hours to babysit my brother. Yeah I like to help my parents but like when it comes to my paycheck being cut in half and not being able to buy shit for college then no.
   So ladies and gentle ladies or whoever decides to read this, I will try and update you when I get into college. I know for sure that I'll be making a YouTube video with Nick to update all of our children about college, so yeah just stay on the lookout :)

It is now the 25th of October, and I am struggling so hard here at USI. I have dropped so many classes and now that I have been here for 2 months, going on 3, I understand the system and I absolutely do not like it. I am just struggling with my job and juggling my classes here. If I don't have a job, I lose my car. If I have a job, then I struggle with my classes. I have been able to balance that out right now but next semester who knows what is going to go on. I really need to get my shit together. I need to pull myself together and make everything better. I also can't keep a steady relationship here. Like I am not trying to keep one, but I am. (if that makes sense) I don't know what to guys. I am just at a low point and I haven't talked to anyone here because I hate talking to people about my issues. I really just stay to myself and try to figure things out as I go.

Here I am just sitting in the Jazz lounge at out library writing this. I am such a loser HAHA. Why do I have free time to write this when I should be doing something with my life. I mean well I know why but I you all do not know why. I have been having troubles with so many things here that I have honestly not gave a single damn about anything else. I really don't want to work anymore because of it.