The next day's training never came. Talib and I have been ordered to be ready to leave shortly after dawn.
I make my way to the hospital to find Kayleb and say goodbye. He won't be coming with us because of his wound he's not fit to fight. Cassidy is training him as a medic so he will still be helping but not fighting. I'm relieved he won't be with me in a way because I don't know how I 'd be able to cope if he died but in another way I'm sad I have to leave him here, we've never been apart for as long as we will be.
Tapping Kayleb on the shoulder I pull him into a hug as he turns round.
"Goodbye." I whisper, I feel like I'll never see him again.
"Goodbye, promise you'll come back to me." he whispers urgently.
I pull back, "Don't make me make a promise that I don't know if I can keep,"
"Please, don't throw your life away" he begs.
"I won't, see you soon."
I grab my bags and weapons and make my way through the corridors to the stables.
Reality begins to set in. I'm actually going to the capital! I'm finally going to be stopping Tamarack. He'll regret what he did, I'll make him regret it.
"You're leaving now," Cassidy says, dragging me from my thoughts.
"Yes," I reply
"I'll walk with you, I need to say goodbye to Talib as well" she chirped.
"If you want,"
Cassidy starts to babble incessantly about this and that, it makes me wonder if the girl has time to breathe. Why can't she just shut up! No one wants to hear your drivel! Still, I don't say a word. I can tell Kayleb cares about her, I can't see why but he does. I put up with her for him. Although I feel like I'm losing him, like he's drifting away and there's nothing I can do to stop him.
Realising we're at the stables I take my horse's reigns and swing onto the saddle while Talib gives Cassidy a quick hug and mounts his own steed. Cassidy opens the doors for us and we set off.
"Okay, our cover story if we are ever questioned is that we are a newly married couple and we are on our way to the capital for our honeymoon and the New Year's festivities." he informed me, a hint of glee creeps into his voice.
"Why couldn't we be brother and sister or friends?" I complain
"We don't look enough like each other for a start and it would look suspicious if a young lady and a young man were travelling together that weren't related or had no older man or woman accompanying them," he explains.
"Fine." I concede, he has a point even though we have the same hair colour and olive tone complexion our faces look completely different.
That night we set up camp.
Flames flicker in the dark. Twisted flames reflect in my eyes as I gaze into its depths, searching for answers but only finding my questions.
Once again the nightmares had come and once again I wake with silent anger.
"Hey, you okay?" Talib murmurs sleepily.
"Yes." emotion absent from my voice.
"No you're not," he states softly while settling beside me.
"I am, leave me alone" standing I walk into the darkness.
Talib stands, "No you're not," he repeats more loudly, "please tell me what's wrong," he begs.
"No," I stop to face him.
"Tell me, I want to help." he pushes.
"No,"
"Tell me" he repeats louder.
"You haven't seen what I've seen, you won't understand," I reply.
Pain flashes briefly through Talib's eyes, "Who are you to judge what I have seen and what I will understand, you don't know everything that's happened in my life!"he shouts bitterness and harshness apparent.
Sharp daggers of water fall from the sky, soaking us instantly. The rain trickles down Talib's face, making him look like he's crying.
Uncharacteristically anger enters his voice "You have no idea! You push people away every chance you get! When all we want to do is help you! It's you that doesn't UNDERSTAND!" he screams the last part, frustration contorting his features, "You think you're so strong but you are the weak one! Every person that joins the Resistance joins because they lost someone, they learn to move on! You're weak because you haven't!" he continues spitefully.
Rage flares within me shattering my emotionless shelter, " SHUT UP!YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME!" I scream.
"Then tell me! Educate me!"he cries his voice dripping with sarcasm I didn't think he possessed.
"FINE!" I scream even louder as a boom of thunder resonates, "Tamarack killed my parents!" I pulled at my shirt off, beyond caring that I was half naked in front of him and pointed to my scars, " This is what he did to me!" I turn to show the carved letter there.
I turn back breathing heavily.
"I'm going to kill him, because of him people are dying! I can't stand by anymore!" I shout once more.
Talib's anger drained from his face only to be replaced by pity. Pity's worse than anger. I can deal with him being mad at me but pity, no.
"You're right, I did know nothing about you, but you didn't join to help people, you joined for a much more selfish reason," he replies so quietly I could barely hear him above rain.
"No, I joined to help people!" I contradict.
"No you didn't" he replies slowly getting louder, " Why did you join the resistance?"
"To help people!" I shout louder, feeling a little less sure about my reasons.
" Why did you join!" he pushed getting louder.
It takes me a little longer to reply and I'm even less sure about my reasons.
"Tell me why do you want to kill Tamarack?" he shouts just as loud, trying a different tact.
I give him the same answer as before. I begin to search within myself trying to find the answer.
He repeats himself. This time I stay silent.
" You know don't you, tell me WHY!" he shouts the last part louder.
"FINE! REVENGE!" I scream so loud my own ear drums complained at its loudness, "revenge," I choke brokenly, barely above a whisper.
The walls round my heart crumbles, leaving ruins. The dark stirs.
I collapse sobbing. For the first time I let myself grieve for my parents and for myself. The pain in my heart hurts so much I feel as if I should die.
Vaguely I'm aware of strong arms encircling me and carrying me to the now smouldering fire. I bury my face into Talib's chest, clutching at his wet tunic as he sets me down. He never lets go he just holds me tight, murmuring into my hair.
Emotions I haven't felt for twelve years hammer against me in a whirl, pounding unrelentingly like the rain on my skin. Daggers stab at my heart and wrench it from me painfully and reinsert it in the most excruciating way possible. I hurt so much I long for the emptiness to consume me but for once it lets me down. My body shudders and curls closer in on itself in a futile effort to shield myself as it intensifies.
It feels like days as the pain increases tenfold.
Finally exhaustion overtakes me, emotionally spent I sink gratefully into oblivion.
YOU ARE READING
Discovering Freedom
Fantasía12 year Tamarack has conquered and ruled the country with an iron fist. For 12 years Kyra has hidden. Now she's had enough of his terrible reign. She leaves the stone hallways within the mountains and embarks on her fight for freedom for her country...
