Discovering Freedom

Chapter 17

"Kyra," Talib mumbles into my hair as I bury my face further into his chest. I'm not ready to surface from the numbness.

"Kyra," he persists.

Go away let me stay numb for a little while.

Thankfully, he gives up and contents himself with carrying me to a room and settling me in his arms on the bed.

Hours later I could feel myself begin to thaw and for the first time I feel like I can begin to live again. For so long I've been consumed by my need for revenge I stopped living and was stuck in the past. It's only now that I realise this but the steady ache in my heart doesn't seem to lessen or go away.

"Will the ache ever go away?" I murmur into Talib's shirt.

"No but one day you'll wake up and it won't hurt as much," he replies softly.

"But I don't want to forget them." I argue quietly.

"You won't, just because you're moving on doesn't mean you're forgetting them. They'd want you to move with your life and only now are you at a point that you can. I want you to be able to with all my heart because I love you." I peek up at him and see the love shining within them.

At that point he never looked so handsome. His hair was messy and we were both still spattered with blood but it didn't matter. Gently I placed my lips against his and kiss him lightly before moving back, creating some space between us.

'I care about him nothing more' I internally tell myself sternly. I can't love him but nor can I lose him. I don't know if I could live through it.

I pulled back further and get up. I have to get out of here, he's confusing me making me feel things I've never felt before. When Talib says my name it sends shivers through me. The lightest of his touches ignites mini fires which makes my skin flush. My breath catches at the very sight of him and when he's holding me I never want him to let go.

"You okay?" Talib asks curiously.

"Yes, I'm fine I just need to get all this blood off." I tell him, which is partially true. I really do need to get rid of the blood. It reminds too much of the blood that soaked my parents corpses. A shiver runs down my backbone at the memory.

Hot water drums into my back. Washing away the sweat and grime of battle but it doesn't wash away the haunting scenes of my past. I focus on the splash of water letting it soothe my frazzled mind.

Feeling better I step out of the shower and dry myself. I slip into a fresh tunic and trousers before leaving the bathroom and go for a walk in the gardens.

I amble down the gravel pathway until I reach the columned pathway with a roof connecting the buildings on one side of the gardens to the other. The smell of honeysuckle intermingles with the aroma of lavender and roses drifts lazily through the air.

I have never felt so at peace. I didn't think such tranquillity existed let alone at the heart of Tamarack's stolen home. The afternoon sun cast a golden haze on everything. The soft breeze carries the joyful laugh of a little girl to my ears. I cast a searching gaze over the garden as I stop to lean against a pillar.

I spot the owner of the laugh. A little girl of about three with curly blonde hair bouncing about her shoulders runs to Jason.

"Daddy!" she cries joyfully.

Jason erupts into a grin. I've never seen Jason wear anything except a scowl but his face lights up at the sight of her. I think a smile suits him better.

"Mazhira!" Jason enthusiastically greets her before sweeping her into a long bear hug. His laugh booms out as he swings the girl high in the air before setting her gently on the ground.

A hand taps my shoulder. I jump and my head snaps round at the touch.

"Cassidy, you made me jump." I say.

"Sorry," she flashes me cheerful smile.

"I didn't know Jason had a daughter, where's his wife?" I ask nodding in Jason and Mazhira's direction.

Cassidy turned uncharacteristically serious, "It's a sad story which isn't my place to tell. You should ask Jason if you want to know."

Seeing this more serious side of her makes me like her a bit more. I should make more of an effort to become friends with her. I guess Cassidy's not so bad once you get to know her. What is it that made him so angry?

"I'll see you later. I've got to meet Kayleb." Cassidy says after a moment when she sees I'm lost in my own thoughts.

I nod absent mindedly to let her know I heard her. Her footsteps rapidly retreat while my full attention returns to Jason and his daughter.

Mazhira skips to the edge of the path and picks two daisies. She promptly hands one to Jason before running over to me.

"Hello, I'm Mazhira. Would you like a flower?" she says before thrusting the daisy in front of her.

I crouch so I'm eye level with her "I'd love a flower,"

She carefully stretches out her hand and pushes the stem into my hair.

"So how'd I look?" I laugh.

"Like my Mama, Daddy said she was beautiful and you look beautiful too," she replies a smile playing on her lips before giving me a surprise hug.

I stiffen at the contact but relax and hug back. She's such a sweet little girl it's hard not to adore her.

"Get away from her," Jason growl threateningly as he stomps over.

He protectively picks Mazhira up as soon as she lets go of me.

"Stay away from my daughter." He glowers and strides back the way they came with Mazhira's face, scrunched in curiosity at her father's reaction, peeking over his shoulder at me.