The Journal: The First Edition

Chapter 11

 At some point, I had lost consciousness. I don't remember how or when it happened. When I opened my eyes, I found that I wasn't laying on the floor, but I had been settled into the bed pushed against the wall. I blinked slowly to focus my vision and ground myself in the waking world once more. I pulled myself into a sitting position, and let my gaze wander.

I was still at home, thankfully, but I could already recognize that. I looked down at the floor and noticed a faintly visible red stain on the ground that had not been there before. The stain formed the warped shape of a puddle, reminiscent of those one might stumble upon in the rain. I remembered the way my mouth tore open, and could faintly recall the warmth of the blood rolling down my face. I knew it had caused the stain.

I shuddered at the memory; I hated it more than the sickness I was currently feeling.

I raised a hand to my face to find a thin, white fabric had been plastered against the sides of my mouth. It barely covered more than a centimeter of my lips themselves. Most of my cheeks were obscured under the bandages, and though I could open my mouth, the searing pain in my face prevented me from doing it too much. If I had to do any talking today, I knew it was going to be difficult. I wasn't the most enthusiastic about the idea of being social, but after yesterday, I didn't want to go outside anyways.

Still though, I wondered what was going on outside anyways. From the light streaming through the window, I could only deduce that the sun was beginning to set. When I had gone outside yesterday, it was much brighter; somewhere in the middle of the day, at any rate. The thought that I slept for an entire day didn't sit right with me, and the headache coming on reaffirmed the idea of my oversleeping. I had panicked so hard that I ended up hurting myself, and then I passed out.

I had never experienced such intense emotions before. Even though I had calmed down significantly, the thought of the events still startled me. It wasn't only limited to the overwhelming emotions I let overflow at home, but... what caused them to reach such an intense peak to begin with. I still found it hard to believe what had transpired was a real event. Thinking about it brought on a torrent of frustration, confusion, and grief that waved through my mind.

Johnathon's words stung me to the core, and it was hard for me to discern whether or not he actually meant to say them. Obviously, he had been frustrated, but I had never seen him like that before. I wasn't sure if I had ever even been in situations remotely similar in my entire life. I wasn't even sure of my age of all things, although I knew deep down I wasn't a child. I thought back to the conversation-- ...the argument we had.

It was more than just the words I recalled, but the body language and expressions as well. I can hear the forcefully polite tone Johnathon put up, and the way he tried so hard to blank out his expression and not appear frustrated. He tried to mask his feelings, but he was horrible at it. His tail, the flicks of his ears, the slits of his eyes, and the way his body shook all gave it away. And, I got unlucky and struck a nerve that caused his makeshift fortress to splinter apart.

The way his pupils slit was already something I didn't like to see.

I had become used to the fact that when the light was too bright they would do so. I had also come to learn that they did so when he was upset. Sometimes, it was hard to tell the difference between the two. That time, however, it was very clear that the sun didn't cause it. To make matters worse, it was directed toward me.

Fire had ignited within the blackness. It was something I had just been on the cusp of seeing when we interacted with Sing-Along. I suppose I was lucky that we dodged the bullet at that time, but I never expected it to ever be directed fully at me at any point in time. Still though, I hadn't expected to react the way that I did.