IN THE SHADOW OF OBLIVION

Chapter 11: Those hopes

The look on Irfan's face would have broken Anntonia's heart; if it hadn't been broken already.

The guy obviously heard every word she had screamed to Michelle few moments ago.

Every. Word.

She saw how Irfan smiled sadly at her and sat down on the couch in the living room. He shook his head and scoffed slightly as he looked up at her from his position.

"It's okay, you know," the guy said quietly. "I kind of already figured it out before you even said it."

Anntonia could only watched the guy as he spoke, her chest constricting with the pain of hurting another person because bever in her life she intended to do that.

"I-I'm so sorry, Irfan," she whispered, reaching out to touch his shoulder. "I never thought, I mean,.. it's hard to explain. I guess I just thought it was something I could ignore."

"Ann, you can't do that to yourself. That's no way to live. Or treat other people. Love is something you can't control, let alone control." The guy said the last part without looking at her, and she felt her stomach twisted in guilt.

"I'm so sorry," she said again and all she could say. She then felt Irfan squeezed her hand and when she turned to him, he offered her a small smiled.

"Don't apologize for something that's out of your control. You can't help it if you love Michelle," he said simply, his eyes following hera as she leaned into her hands. "You can't, Ann. I know it's not really my business, but you can't do this to yourself. It's gonna tear you up."

"I know," she mumbled into her hands, the words coming out muffled and hard to understand. "I don't know what to do, Irfan." Then she looked at him, her eyes rimmed with red from crying. "What am I supposed to do? Will you forgive me for hurting you too?"

Irfan shrugged his shoulders but then, offered her a consoling kiss in the forehead.

"I don't know, honestly. Your case with Michelle is something that you'll have to figure out by yourself. But I want you to stop apologizing to me."

"It just seems like I made a huge mistake."

She refused to look at Irfan in the eyes, but the guy reached for her chin and slowly pull her to make her face him.

"Ann, listen," he said, looking at her straight in without blinking. "I still think you're one of the most amazing people I've met. I've had such a good time just getting to know you. You're something else, you know? And if I'm being perfectly honest, I was starting to fall pretty hard for you." He smiled softly at her. "I think it would be impossible for anyone not to. So if Michelle doesn't..." He stopped and sighed. "If she doesn't see what she has in his hands already, then she never deserved you in the first place. You have to remember that, okay? You could have anyone you want falling all over themselves just to get a date with you. It's not worth wasting that for someone that doesn't realize the truth. That doesn't realize they have the most amazing person standing in front of them. You see what I'm saying? Don't let your heart go to waste, Ann. Because it's amazing, and you're amazing." He finished and she watched him carefully as he hung his head and sighed again.

"Thank you, Irfan. I appreciate you saying that. At least, my guilt has lifted a little." she whispered, reaching over and rubbing his back. She didn't know what else to say to him. In those few words, he'd opened her eyes to everything. That she couldn't stand around and wait for Michelle, but leading Irfan on when she wasn't ready for anyone else wasn't right, either. She knew that. She needed time to be herself, to figure out exactly who she was going to become.

Irfan just nodded and stood, reaching his hand out to help her up. And when she did, he wrapped his arms around her and she breathed into his neck, taking in the feeling of the guy's arms around her one last time. It wasn't that she didn't care about him, but he wasn't what she wanted. If she was perfectly honest with herself, there's only one she wanted in this lifetime; Michelle. Her best friend, her Dani Boo.