Finding Muna: A Palestinian Novel

Chapter Nineteen

Muna's sniffled as her tears ran down her eyes, wetting her cheeks, she watched herself in the camera with the scissors in her hand, wondering if she wouldn't regret her decision.

Her hand went to her hair which was once luscious and wavy, her hair was one of her hugest qualities and it was one of the things that gave her confidence in herself. That same hair was already harsh and dry to touch, her scalp was already filled with dandruff and it was always itchy, so much so that she was getting worried that she already caught lice.

She had watched videos about people cutting their hair and never really understood why they would cry despite walking to the barber's shop themselves, but now she understood them in some way. Although it wasn't her wish to ever cut off her hair or some parts of it, she had to because it was becoming of more harm than good.

She wiped her tears as she stopped the video and started to record another one, she knew her parents would see the video and the last thing she wanted for them to see her in tears.

Her parents...

She couldn't remember the last time she spoke to them over the phone, and although she tried not to dwell on the fact that she didn't receive much calls from them especially from her mother, she was sure something was wrong but was afraid to find out what exactly was wrong, considering she brought all of this on them.

She made a mental note to try to call them later in the day, she sighed as she stared at the scissors in her hand.

"I love my hair, so much, very much but I have no choice than to cut it now because I have other things to worry about other than my hair. There's no proper food or drink to eat here at the camp and within the span of five days that I've been here, three people have died due to excess vomiting and gastrointestinal disease and one person due to extreme hunger."

"I have to cut my hair because I have to find ways to survive without my hair getting in the way, I have always dreamt of getting a pixie or bob cut but I never knew it would come about this way," she said and let out a bitter chuckle and without another word, she rose the scissors to her hair and cut the first section off. She gasped as she held her hair in her hand, her other hand covering her mouth as she stared at the hair in horror.

She dropped it on the ground with a heavy heart and cut off the rest. Then with tears in her eyes, she ended the video and posted it immediately, she picked up the hair from the ground and took a photo on her phone, posting it immediately as she did so. Then she grabbed nylon from her bag and carefully put her hair into the nylon and tied it gently.

She sat in the tent for a while, crying her eyes out as her phone vibrated with notifications, she turned off the notification on her phone and dropped it beside her. Then she wrapped her arms around her legs and stare off into nothingness, afraid to touch her hair again which was barely even touching her shoulders.

She snapped out of her thoughts and grabbed her phone biting her lower lip anxiously; she quickly tapped on her father's contact and dialled his number before she could stop herself.

Her heart almost dropped in the depth of her heart as she watched the phone ring and the call got connected, her breathe hitched in her throat as she saw her father's face on the screen. All her anger dissolved as she met with her father's tired eyes; she took a gasp as she stared at him horrified.

"Muna," he breathed a sigh of relief as he peered at her lovingly, tears filling his eyes as he struggled to find his daughter in the lady who was staring back at him, she wasn't his Muna, she was another girl who looked like her, but this one looked so tired and lean, like someone who the doctor had told she had only a few days left on earth.